Your “Stupid Is As Stupid Does” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Combine idiocy:
    • The Bengals met with, and somehow didn’t turn off, Joe Burrow on Wednesday.
      • Partaking in the interview on the team’s side were owner Mike Brown, head coach Zac Taylor, offensive coordinator Brian Callahan and others involved with the Bengals combine scouting.
      • Nowhere does it ask his opinion on Skyline chili.
    • The Raiders informed TCU defensive tackle Ross Blacklock when they interviewed him that he had 37 campus parking tickets from his time at TCU.
  • Dreamboat idiocy:
    • Apparently, the Chargers, Raiders and Colts have met with Brady’s agent.
      • They can’t talk with Brady directly since he’s still under contract until the league year expires on March 12.
    • He hasn’t met with the Patriots yet, because they are letting him see what value a 43 year-old free agent has on the open market before they make their offer.
Bogart is Belichick.
  • The Giants have cut LB Alec Ogletree, saving $8.25 million against the cap.
    • He had one year remaining on his contract, so it will cost the Giants $3.5 million.
      • Because the contract was both back-end loaded & not guaranteed.
  • Former Seahawks backup QB Trevone Boykin was sentenced to three years in prison after pleading guilty to beating his ex-girlfriend.
    • The assault occurred in March 2018, resulting in his immediate cut by the team.
      • Occurring just a year after a March 2017 arrest on charges of public intoxication and misdemeanor marijuana possession after a car in which he was a passenger struck a tavern, hitting seven people on the sidewalk.
    • He will be eligible for parole in a year.

Well, the CBA negotiations sure have the players offering opinions.

  • Aaron Rodgers:

  • Richard Sherman, on Aaron Rodgers’ thoughts:

One of the key details that is coming out is that the owners have structured the new CBA to make it harder to hold out for a new contract.

  • The daily training-camp fines would become mandatory for players operating under their second contracts.
    • Teams could no longer ‘excuse’ the fines once the player reports.
    • Fines likely also went up in the new agreement (but haven’t been released yet).
  • In addition, the player will lose an accrued season toward free agency by failing to show up for camp, or by leaving camp, for more than five days.
    • This would eliminate the current rule that says the holdout player will only lose a year if they fail to show up 30 days before the first regular season game.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL: (all Canadian teams are regional broadcasts)
    • Stars at Bruins – 7:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Knicks at 76ers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Trail Blazers at Pacers – 8:00PM | TNT
    • Lakers at Warriors – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN3
  • NCAA:
    • Indiana at Purdue – 7:00PM | FS1
    • Wisconsin at Michigan – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Temple at Wichita State – 8:00PM | ESPN
    • Ohio State at Nebraska – 9:00PM | ESPN2
    • Arizona at Southern California – 10:00PM | ESPN
  • Futbol:
    • CONCACAF Champions League Soccer:
      • Los Angeles FC vs. León – 10:00PM | FS1

Seamus has you tomorrow night. I’ll be by on the weekend with some pre-recorded mumblings, and then back in the saddle on Monday.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamusBC DickSonOfSpamSenor Weaselonomonkeyfun Recent comment authors
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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve got the female version of Bernie Sanders in my recliner downstairs. I ask her a yes/no question and I get 15 minutes of…well, other shit. And If I change the channel on the TV I’ll get….15 minutes of other shit.

Now she’s asleep and if I wake her up I’ll have to talk to her.

Life is so unfair. Go Trump.

SonOfSpam

UCLA is sneaky-good right now. Mick Cronin (look out he’s Irish) might be a pretty damn good coach.

theeWeeBabySeamus

rockingdog
rockingdog
BC Dick

That’s a swift hog. Or whatever that is, it’s swift.

ballsofsteelandfury

I miss Justified.

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, how can you not be Team Winona?
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herodotus450
herodotus450

More like Alicia Brick amirite
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup, Natalie Zea or STFU.
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ballsofsteelandfury

¡Jesús!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Inorite?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d feel better about drinking as much as I have tonight if I’d managed to swim some laps today. Every pool I tried to go to was closed.

King Hippo

If there’s one “must do” on the pandemic list, it’s utilizing public pools. Or bath houses, if MOAR one’s thing NOE JUDGEMENT

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m kind of fatalistic in my expectation that I’ll be getting it soon enough anyways.

Horatio Cornblower

I’d be happy if the worst thing I got in a public pool was Covid-19.

King Hippo

I mean, I’ve had enough of a sneak peak into 2020, that I am MOAR than ready to tap out.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What? I brought my own chlorine. LET ME IN!!!!!!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Anyway, the the bathhouse fight in Eastern Promises still fucking rules.

SonOfSpam

Quality peen. (that’s what you mean right)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mmmmmm, that is a tasty burger!!!!!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

So the new CBA gives the players nothing in return for nothing. Who’s fucking taking this deal? Chuck Schumer?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[phone rings]

No, I don’t feel like talking to my old buddy Scam tonight.

Horatio Cornblower

Just give him my credit card. Everyone else is using it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I thought you cancelled that one?
/ orders a bunch of stuff off Amazon

Horatio Cornblower

Remember Euro Trip?

I can definitely see Cooper turning into a sniper with PTSD


but Jamie ditching his career as a tour guide to become the worst boxer in Harlan County?

Did not see that coming.

Horatio Cornblower

Fixed it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pretty damned good, Lads.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Senor Weaselo

I saw a sign for “Visit Manchester” and I immediately thought of this scene.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Stepped away for a few days, because I don’t care about any sports besides NFL or the NBA if the Spurs are doing well, and I don’t think they are.
Still on recovery road with the foot surgery, but I think I will have to stop going for the “sympathy fucks” very soon. My weed guy turned me on to light doses of Xanax for sleep assistance, which I kinda like. Next surgeon follow up visit is on 05 March, hopefully I will get full clearance to start driving and maybe going back into the office. In the meantime, every single construction or design project I have going on has taken an extreme shit, and it’s very depressing (and it doesn’t have anything to do in any instance with my being teleworking instead of being physically present at the office). You are always used to a couple projects going south at any given time, but to have every single active or upcoming project turn into total shit is unusual, first time I have had it happen to me in 7 years of renovation work. I actually thought for a couple days that I might have a nervous breakdown, whatever the fuck that is. I’m actively looking for another position within the agency; I’ve been told by wizened veterans that one needs to change positions once every five years. I’ve overstayed my welcome where i am by 2+ years, so we’ll see what else my agency can offer me.
“Aside from that, how did you like the play, Mrs. Lincoln?”

SonOfSpam

Don’t do anything rash, could just be one of those months or whatever.

Also, don’t get a rash.

I’ve heard the 5 year thing too, but I’m about to celebrate 9 years at my place and I’ve never been

/stabs thigh with butter knife

happier.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Have to agree with SoS here. Take some time and re-assess once you’re in a better frame. Don’t do anything you might later regret. Shit lands sometimes, but it doesn’t have to mean all is lost. It’s just life.

And if you do get a rash, might I suggest some topical 1% Hydrocortizone cream?

Sharkbait

Stay strong man. Focus on your recovery. That’s the most important thing.

Don T

In your situation, I would probably threaten the agency’s higher ups to a beatin’ with my cane or metal walker. Depending on the rehab stage.
Good luck.

Horatio Cornblower

“You the type of fella walks under a flock of birds and is surprised when he ends up with shit on his face?”

Justified was such a good show.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Justified was not just a good show. It was the best show.

“You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.”

Really, better than Breaking Bad or Better Call Saul.

Horatio Cornblower

I use that line all the time.

Start to finish better than Breaking Bad, but I thought Breaking Bad had the two best episodes of TV ever during the last season. The two right before the final two. The ending was a little meh, but those two episodes were fucking amazing.

‘Saul’ is really good. Need to see how it plays out though.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

For some reason, I still haven’t watched the entirety of series 4. I had a lot of other shit going on last year, with my bariatric surgery and all, and figured I’d get caught up and now it looks like I haven’t. I’m sure I’ll get it all sorted out. But still, Olyphant/Goggins >>>>> Odenkirk/Cranston

theeWeeBabySeamus

Horatio Cornblower

You want to talk about a show that ran off the rails, crashed into a ditch and then burned to cinders and I give you ‘Sons of Anarchy’. What a glorious shitshow that turned into.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It was! I ran into Joelle Carter one time at a coffee shop. I told her we loved her show.

Horatio Cornblower

I would have had to confess that I was Team Winona, even if it meant a frying pan upside the head.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

None of Justified’s wimmen kept me interested. I’d rather fuck Raylan or Boyd, or Raylan’s Rush-listening boss, or Tim the Sniper, to be honest. And I am straight. And I would be happy to do Mary Steenburgen. Or Sam Elliott, for that matter.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not even Alicia Witt?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh Alicia Witt. You just had to go there didn’t you?

King Hippo

For Justified womenfolk, I had her as a distant 3rd

Horatio Cornblower

She’s looked better….
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am wondering if the spread of Coronavirus will make it possible to get some really cheap tickets for sporting events. Like, Laker floor seats for $50 each or such.

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

At this rate you might be able to represent some countries at the Tokyo Olympics.

SonOfSpam

Had the same thought about Angel Stadium today. Must be a sociopath thing.

Horatio Cornblower

I poured the Old Grandad back in the bottle and stuffed that thing to the far back of the liquor cabinet. I would rather drink prison pruno out of a hobo’s asshole than even try to finish the 2-3 fingers I’d poured myself.

WCS

Philistine. Old Grandad is a national treasure.
We drink alone. With nobody else.

theeWeeBabySeamus

2-3 fingers in a hobo’s asshole? Where is scotchy when you need him most?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You don’t have any Coke you can mix it with?

[smiles as he sips his own Buffalo Trace blackberry old fashioned]

Horatio Cornblower

Why would I do that to Coke?

I’m gonna use it to start fires with.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Horatio Cornblower (artist’s conception)
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nomonkeyfun

You ever have Fleischmann’s?

Horatio Cornblower

Just had to cancel the credit cards after getting an alert that an unknown party was on an Amazon shopping spree with it. So I needed a drink but then remembered I finished the good scotch yesterday and never went to the store, so I’ve been reduced to cracking open the bottle of Old Grandad someone gave me for my last birthday,

This is gonna hurt.

Sharkbait

People suck. That’s happened to me before. People that do that need to get attacked by a pack of rabid badgers

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ditto. Had the bank kill all card acct’s and start over about four months ago. Pain in the arse, but it beats losing the whole roll.

SonOfSpam

Dammit. There go my extra Amazon Basic buttplugs.

WCS

You too, huh. Damn.

Sharkbait

Ice Giants dropping 3 on Les Canadiens in the 3rd. I approve of this.

Horatio Cornblower

Kinda surprised Montreal still has a team.

theeWeeBabySeamus

WHO WANTS PEYOTE??????
DID YOU GUYS SEE THE SIZE OF THAT CHICKEN?????

LemonJello
LemonJello

“We’re in the spirit world, asshole, They can’t see us.”

Horatio Cornblower

That Bogart slap is killing me. He’s barely hitting his chest. Ric Flair would be appalled at that technique.

herodotus450
herodotus450

“Oh I ate how much?”
-Title of my memoir

theeWeeBabySeamus

tWBS’ Mom : Hey come look at the moon. What’s that to the right side?
tWBS : That’s Venus, Mom. It’s always there.
tWBS’ Mom: No, I know Venus…
tWBS [silently]: yeah sure you do.
tWBS’ Mom: But what is that banana shaped thing in between?
tWBS: Dirty windows that haven’t been washed in months?
tWBS’ Mom: Yeah, I think you’re right.
tWBS: yeah, I usually am. Where the fuck is Mars?

SonOfSpam

I also enjoy pointing out Venus to various family members who don’t give a shit.

(not a joke…nice to know there’s another boring idiot here)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dumbasses: Wow, look how bright that star is!!!!! What star is that?
tWBS: It’s Venus, it’s a planet. Watch a fucking documentary once in a while maybe?

Sharkbait

Sup

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m beginning to believe my mother wants to kill me. Slowly and painfully.

tWBS’ Mom: I’m smarter than my doctor AND my hairdresser.
tWBS [to himself]: This ought to be good. Somebody please kill me in the next few seconds.
tWBS’ Mom: Remember when I was telling you about how badly my head was itching?
tWBS: [audibly]: Remember when I told you to wash your hair?
tWBS’ Mom; Well I used that T-gel shampoo and it’s all fine now.
tWBS: Shocking.
tWBS’ Mom: You want a grilled cheese?
tWBS [to himself]: You want a smack in the head old lady?

LemonJello
LemonJello

Dave has convinced her to murder you so they can split the insurance money.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

To be fair, a lot of people want to kill you.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You Sir, are not wrong.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hell man, I’ve had death threats from other hemispheres and separate continents. None have shown up just yet.

Senor Weaselo

You need one of those deli ticket machines. “Oh, another death threat? Take a number and I’ll be with you shortly.” *serving number 420*

ballsofsteelandfury

I really hope the players don’t cave. They need to stand firm. With the XFL in place, there IS an alternative to the NFL. They can take their talents there and destroy the NFL.

Vince McMahon would LOVE that.

The players have never had this kind of leverage.

LemonJello
LemonJello

“Caves? Those are spooky places. I’m glad I retired so Coach can’t make me play there.”
-E. Manning, from inside Fort Lego

King Hippo

ummmm, you may want to look at the salaries on offer in Vince’s footed ball experiment

ballsofsteelandfury

Right now. But if the NFL players bolt for the XFL, the revenues increase exponentially and salaries go up with them.