In short: ‘Tis a long one. Long, winding, a monthlong actually-occurring-in-March gauntlet. And after this four will remain. That’s still kinda something. As for the possibilities:

In the BOLTMAN Region…

2. “These goal posts are taking it like an NFL girlfriend lately.” beats 51. “THIS JASON GARRETT, I CALL HIM HILLARY CLINTON BECAUSE HE TOOK WISCONSIN LIGHTLY AND IT’S GOING TO COST HIM A JOB” 23-14

14. “To be fair, Gruden saw end of career Jerry Rice. Kind of like judging pie eating abilities of end of life Terri Schiavo.” beats 19. “Like an improvised rope made of bedsheets, Sharkbait’s banner held together long enough to strangle the competition.” 26-11

In the SHAN’KHOR Region…

7. “Tony Romo’s mic breaking down is perfect, because Tony Romo always fell apart in the postseason.” beats 55. “I’m not saying Belichick’s son looks like a homeless person, but Scotchy just slit his throat.” 22-12

59. “If Garrett had only hit a woman with that helmet he’d be back by Week 14.” beats 34. “If the German men’s team is called ‘Die Mannschaft,’ then it follows that the women’s team should be called ‘Die Neinschaft.’” 23-12

As I think we’ve guessed, if it was easy in early March it sure as hell isn’t picking winners anymore. Granted there are some outlier romps. I think we all get surprised by those though. But think, there’ll be two more rounds of theoretically increasingly difficult winners. Well, good luck on that.

The Penultimate Four will be held on Thursday, once again at Final Destination Arena.

1v1, no items, Fox only of course.