[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

As is tradition, a version of this must be played to announce the official beginning of summer vacation. This year, I’ve chosen Switzerland’s finest 80s metal band.

Marc Storace gave Kevin Cronin of REO Speedwagon a real run for his money in the permed mullet department.

Which all begs the self-loathing question – how come I couldn’t get laid in the 80s?

Anyway, to go down the Krokus rabbit hole, I’d forgotten that they built a moderately successful career in the 80s, with a mix of solid beats & one cover song per album.

For every “Screaming In The Night”,

there was a “Ballroom Blitz.

And to back up “Eat The Rich”,

“American Woman”.

It was a tried & true method, best employed by Van Halen in their use of a Kinks songs on their first album, their version of “You’re No Good” from Van Halen II, and their cover of “Pretty Woman” on their fifth.

Krokus, like most 80s metal bands, fell off when the 90s hit, but a version of the band still performs today, with a covers album called “Big Rocks” having come out in 2017 and a “Final tour” COVID-delayed until 2021.

Tonight’s … entertainment?:

• UFC Fight Night: Poirier vs. Hooker: From Las Vegas
  • Prelims – 6:00PM | ESPN / TSN
  • Main card – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
• Global Goal: Unite for Our Future Concert – 8:00PM | NBC / CTV
  • A musical celebration of scientists, innovators, health workers, activists and organizations working to develop and distribute COVID-19 tests, treatments and vaccines.
• Top Rank Boxing on ESPN:
  • Berchelt-Valenzuela (junior lightweights) – 11:00 PM | ESPN / TSN
• Super Rugby Aotearoa:
  • Crusaders vs. Chiefs – 11:30 PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
• Australian Football League:
  • Hawthorn vs. North Melbourne – 4:00 AM | FS1

Rock on!