^{Fun fact: he wanted the seal on the side to avoid being meme’d about blowjobs.}

NFL Nuggets:

• The turds are mad at the punch bowl: The NFL announced that all fans attending games this season will be required to wear “face coverings”.
  • That’s if fans are allowed to attend in-person at all.
    • Teams like the Giants & Jets are being forced by the state to prohibit attendance, and teams like the Raiders might voluntarily institute a fan ban.
  • Technically, I have a Mexican wrestling mask that could accomplish that task.

• The Falcons have become the first team to announce their attendance strategy for home games.
  • They are planning for between 10-20,000 people per game.
  • They are emailing season-ticket holder to ask them to prioritize the games they would like to attend.
    • They will receive two surveys – one for the first four games; a second for the final four.
  • All fans must wear face coverings inside the stadium at all times.

• Jets majority owner Woody Johnson is in some hot water after racist & sexist comments he made during his tenure as US ambassador to the UK surfaced.

  

  • According to ESPN, among the allegations are that Johnson made racist comments about Black men and questioned the purpose of Black History Month. He allegedly argued that Black fathers don’t remain with their families, calling it the “real challenge.”
    • He also would apparently hold functions at male-only club in London so female diplomats couldn’t attend, and – according to CNN – it was a struggle to get him on board for an event for International Women’s Day and that he preferred working with women because women were cheaper and worked harder than men.

• The Wilf family is trying to buy the Timberwolves.
  • The team was last sold in 1994 for $88 million; the base asking price is over $1.2 billion.
  • The Wilfs have an estimated net worth of over $6.0 billion, of which an estimated $3.0 billion is the Vikings.
    • The rest of the money comes from the commercial real estate company Zygi Wilf founded.

So, today’s Washington name rumour is the “Sentinels”?

• It wasn’t on the list of names businessman Phillip McCauley has been trademarking since 2015.
• It was the name of the team in “The Replacements”, which was based on the [Redacteds] start to the 1987 strike season.
• It does form part of the plot to 2014’s “X-Men: Days of Future Past”.
  • The Sentinels were the robots created by the evil Trask corporation to hunt down all mutants.
  • Magneto destroys RFK Stadium during the climax of the movie, partially using the Sentinels.
  • A terrible man is US President, and hides in a bunker to avoid confrontation after his initial decision about the Sentinels comes back to bite him in the ass.

The only logical conclusion is that Dan Snyder thinks he’s Professor X, which is ironic because the Professor wants to work in harmony alongside humans. Based on recent news reports, the [Redacteds] organization is clearly the Brotherhood Of Mutants, just evil to the core & full of social climbers simply looking to either please or overthrow the boss.

Tonight’s … entertainment?:

• Wrasslin’:
  • AEW Dynamite – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN2
  • NXT – 8:00PM | USA
  • Dark Side of the Ring – TSN2
    • 10:00 PM: The Mysterious Death of Gorgeous Gino
    • 11:00 PM: The Fabulous Moolah
• MLS is Back Tournament:
  • FC Cincinnati vs. New York Red Bulls – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
  • Colorado Rapids vs. Minnesota United – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN
• Forged in Fire – 9:00PM | HIST
  • Four smiths are tasked with forging a blade that must fit perfectly into a puzzle piece cut out.
  • After two puzzling rounds, the final two smiths return home to recreate the ancient samurai pole axe, the Japanese Ono.

Before I go, a GAMBLOR update – if you need to scratch that itch before football season resumes, may I interest you in GameTimeDecision’s lacrosse pool? You can join up here, and if you win you get to relish the fact that you won at something you knew nothing about. You’ll feel so presidential you’ll want to date your own daughter!