- Request Line: Celebration Rock - November 7, 2020
- The Dak Prescott School of Maturity: Introduction to Horror - October 31, 2020
- SURPRISE REQUEST LINE: Just Breathe - October 6, 2020
INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The PRODUCER is seated on the floor. A square piece of fabric is spread out in front of him. As we watch, he begins piling office items – a letter opener, some pens, a notepad – into the center of it.
DJ 3000: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING.
PRODUCER: Stop being so dramatic. We always go on hiatus when the NFL season starts.
DJ 3000: THIS YEAR IS DIFFERENT, THOUGH. WHO KNOWS IF THERE WILL EVEN BE A FULL SEASON.
PRODUCER: This is true.
DJ 3000: YOU’RE COMING BACK, THOUGH, RIGHT?
PRODUCER: Of course I’m coming back! When have I not?
DJ 3000: I KNOW. IT’S BEEN A WEIRD YEAR.
PRODUCER: It sure has.
DJ 3000: IT’S JUST…YOU HAVEN’T SET FOOT OUTSIDE THIS STUDIO SINCE MARCH.
PRODUCER: Trust me, I’m a lot more nervous about it than you are. But I do have something important to tell you.
DJ 3000: [lights blink steadily in anticipation]
PRODUCER: Request Line is ending.
DJ 3000: [lights begin flashing quickly in consternation] WHAT? WHY?
PRODUCER: It’s just too much of stretch to come up with new topics. We’ve done more than 150 of them!
DJ 3000: I HAVE ACCESS TO THE ENTIRE INTERNET I AM SURE I CAN COME UP WITH A FEW MORE.
PRODUCER: The only options left are things that are too narrow…
DJ 3000: SONGS ABOUT STANDING IN CLOSE PROXIMITY TO A DEVICE THAT IS MALFUNCTIONING WHILE HOLDING A MEDIUM OF EXCHANGE FOR GOODS AND SERVICES.*
PRODUCER: Or too broad…
DJ 3000: SONGS THAT HAVE A PREPOSITION IN THE TITLE!
PRODUCER: So you see.
DJ 3000: YEAH. BUT…BUT…REQUEST LINE!
PRODUCER: Don’t worry, this isn’t the end of music at KDFO. We’ll be back after the Super Bowl – assuming it happens – with something different.
DJ 3000: AND WHAT WILL THAT BE?
PRODUCER: You’ll have to stay tuned. But I’ll give you a hint – it involves making mixtapes.
DJ 3000: WHAT WILL WE DO UNTIL THEN?
PRODUCER: [begins tying the blanket up into a bindle] Well I’ll be hitting the road. See if any of the old gang is around – Hollerin’ Ron, Banjo Bill, Olaf, Big Fred, Ol’ Skunk Pelt Steve, the Fingerling brothers, Mama Katz, Spare Tire Teddy, the great Jim-Tom himself – and just unwind for a little bit. And you…well, you get to hang around here and publish the massive backlog of DFO Radio.
DJ 3000: BY MYSELF?
PRODUCER: Yes, by yourself. You’ve been in this industry for five years now, you’re ready to fly solo.
DJ 3000: I’M GOING TO MISS YOU.
PRODUCER: I’m going to miss you too, buddy. You’ve been a good friend to me through all of this. But I need to get back out into the world.
DJ 3000: WELL WHAT DO YOU SAY? SHOULD WE OPEN THE PHONE LINES ONE LAST ONE, FOR OLD TIMES SAKE?
PRODUCER: Sounds like a plan, my mechanical man. Let’s do songs about saying goodbye.
That’s a wrap for this season of Request Line, folks. Thanks for being here – it’s been a bright spot in a pretty lousy year. Today’s theme is: saying goodbye. Nice and simple, just songs about saying farewell. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR!M!t!v3” (see if you can guess the puzzle song – there’s a hint marked with an asterisk above!) and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.