Welcome back! Let’s get Week 2 off to a slambang start! [looks at teams playing] Eh, you know, gut reaction tells me this tilt should be buried among a heavy slate of games on a Sunday afternoon but there’s enough here to slake my football thirst.
TO THE GAME!
Bengals/Browns:
-I said last week that the Browns should score a bunch but they ran head-first into a high quality opponent in the Ravens and were dominated on both sides of the ball. I get it, but the game-watcher in me says, “there’s so much freakin talent on this team“. I mean, they’ll put it together. Or is the goose* of Freddie Kitchens waddling the hallways of their practice facility?
-This thorough ineptitude has led to speculation, some warranted, some not. Chucklefarts at ESPN have said that Baker might get benched. For Case Keenum? After two games? (if he doesn’t play well tonight) C’mon, that’s tantamount to giving up on the season, isn’t it? The rumour that might have some legitimacy is OBJ being shopped around. He’s not shy about shooting his mouth off/throwing bizarre tantrums and who knows what’s happening in the locker room?
-Three starters on the Browns O-line are banged up as well and two cb’s are done for. On the Cincy side, Geno Atkins and his backup are out tonight. There might be some early, sloppy play to start the game.
-Burrow was a respectable (given the circumstances) 23/36 and ran one in. I heard a nay-sayer cluck that he missed on all 5 of the deep balls he threw which is ‘not a good sign’. If memory serves, two of those balls went through the pinkies of John Brown, one being a sure td. It looks as though A.J. Green is all the way back so that’s nice-he and Boyd and Mixon should be able to do some damage.
-I guess Cleveland really needs this one, or their fans do, otherwise the refrains of ‘same old Browns’ will rain down on the heads of all that young talent. The Bengals? 0-2 is kinda expected right now so not a big deal. I’m cheering for chaos so GO CINCY!
Have at it in the comments.
*Kitchens tried to be a ghost and messed it up, as is his way.
My dad and I just had a father-son moment, where we both looked at each other and came to the sad realization that this is a 4-12 Bengals team. And that’s being generous.
I’ve looked my dad straight in the eye and made a wanking motion as well. I’ll never forget mom’s first MILF video.
Not doing that pornhub search.
This time next year I’ll be visiting Chernobyl. I’ll let y’all know if it’s as much of a disaster area as the Bengals D
We NEED a boots on the ground
3.6 yds given up every play not great, not terrible
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YtVV1VJ4f8
I totally forgot about that episode! Awesome!
First thing I thought of. Second thing was this book. A little dated, but still some interesting observations about the place.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolves_Eat_Dogs
Joe Buck can suck it. I fucking hate him. fuck you.
This is the right take
In rebuttal, I don’t want him to suck it, if that’s all right.
I, for one, enjoy Joe Buck. Not sure why there’s the hate with all the other terrible play by play chugs out there.
To each his own, I’ve just found him to be a pompous, boring, colorless asshole
I was watching a game when a Steeler face masked him hard enough for the opposite eye to peek of of the earhole. Fucker came right back in. Watching the play you would have thought it was ‘iron lung’ time. He also had the the most consecutive completions, and highest completion percentage records for a long time I believe. It wasn’t due to dink/ dunk, pretty amazeballs for that era of 50%ers, and high int to TD ratios.
My takeaway-Joe Buck is truly and honestly a son of Jack Buck. This is a thing worthy of celebration.
You need to wash the body van.
Hey, I forgot this was happening.
/checks score
Did the Bengals, too?
Bob Costas has more soul than Joe Buck.
Jim Nance what ya going to do when Buckomania runs over you
The Clippers collapse up 3-1 gives me hope the world his healing. 2020 is correcting.
The local fellas did a good.
Next generation will be Jaeden Buck in 2040
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FX1BPItDcDo
First Boys size golden jacket for the hall of fame
Finally giving Jim Jordan a reason to put one on.
He’s been wrestling with his conscience about this.
Just kidding, he doesn’t have one. Or a soul.
Jack was quality. Joe? An effing boring piece of play-it-safe passionless crap.
A joe buck circlejerk.
Just when 2020 couldn’t get worse
This year rules. It’s the funniest year in history.
This guy 2020s
That guy in Canton dresses like Trump and is probably a pedo.
You said the same thing twice
NFL we can drain the finances of cities even without a team
I’ve started using some of my various travel vouchers to book stuff for next year and beyond. With cruise lines taking probably the biggest hit of the entire travel industry I was able to score an Antarctica cruise for Feb 2022 without a single-supplement on Ponant
Cruise lines shouldn’t exist.
You want to go on a cruise, join the fucking Navy. They even pay you.
Not in a million fucking years.
Seemed like a good idea for me 40 years ago, actually got me squared away and on a good path, i.e. college and professional career.
Worked well for me as well.
All that seamen. Kind of miss it sometimes.
How’s the food though?
I got out in 1985 so can’t speak to present conditions at the on-board chow hall, but every liberty port was a potpourri of crazy experimentation.
I did not know that Randall Flagg had released a solo album.
Well, I’ve seen shittier games. Hell, I’ve seen shittier Super Bowls. Recently, too; and even though it was my team that won, it was still a shitty game. WTF 13-10?
If I had to watch an entire movie with people using the stupid American pronunciation of antifa I would go insane
Look for the follow-up: Ann Tifa: Black Bloc Diaries
BOO this PC culture. Usually its the white lady giving into her urges for a chiseled from stone, heart of gold Native American.
Okay, if you don’t like that sarcastic humor, try this:
https://twitter.com/IwriteOK/status/1306396464000557056?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1306396912732446720%7Ctwgr%5Eshare_3&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fdeadstate.org%2Fangry-drunker-driver-crashes-truck-after-being-denied-beer-blames-antifa-for-the-wreck%2F
Did the teams without fans in the stands refund season ticket holders?
They are making the cardboard cutouts reimburse the regular season ticket holders.
Some even refunded the PSLs
Refund or carry over to next season. Refund noted to take 7-8 weeks. Decided to carry over.
The Cowboys offer a trade of Dalton, the Monet hanging above the pretzel stand and a briefcase of coke for Burrow.
You don’t like Dak?
Dak going to flee the country when he murders McCarthy
He can seek asylum in Wisconsin
This would have been an outstanding crowd for the Indians back in the 80’s.
Brown Sugar!
Well, at least Spam isn’t facing KHunt in fantasy. Because he’s on the bench.
Offsides!? Why, that’s the worst thing Myles Garrett has ever do…hold on, getting something in my earpiece here…
Very nice throw by Burrow.
STILL Beattie can’t learn the two minute offense?
How long until Myles Garrett starts swinging around his helmet like a club? I missed it last time he played on TNF.
1:31 left on the clock?!? You idiots! He is going to score three more TDs before the HALF!!!!
Wait…sorry. I was having a PTSD flashback from Sunday.
Jewelssy J has absolutely killed someone.
Dirt Giants have hit 6+ homers in each game of a three-game set against the Dirt ArgoBills. And some of them weren’t pop flies down the line!
Do you have to be stoned for the Snoop Dogg Corona commercial make sense? Or am I just too old and white?
I’m pretty sure that Snoop’s fan base, such as it is, has been 100% white for at least a decade.
I wonder if Snoop uses Corona beer instead of water in his bongs.
Heat up 2 games on the Celtics.
A Heat/Nuggets Final would be awesome.
*cries in Adam Silver*
WTF? I abandoned that game at the half with Celts up by like 20 or so.
Nice after-factory add-ons, ma’am.
Dixon in one backfield, Khunt in another: IT’S LADIES NIGHT IN CLEVELAND!!!
Dixon in the backfield, Khunt opposite
Here I am, Stuck in the middle with Mayfield.
“Best Buy wants the fans to experience the game. Come you your local Best Buy for the NFL live fan experience. One of our dedicated associates with vomit beer on your child, call your wife or girlfriend a whore, and sucker punch you if you dare ask them not to do so. Our store restrooms have been left completely uncleaned and are filled with overflowing toilets and drunk people to piss in sinks and on unwary patrons.
Best Buy and the NFL. The ultimate fan experience”
Best Buy is dedicated to helping fans enjoy all sorts of games as long as they aren’t on the PS5
The last time I saw a chub surrounded by this much brown, i realized I was watching German porn
/OBJ has entered the chat.
Guess the trick to making Mayfield* look like a legit #1 pick it to have him play the Bengals.
*solution not limited to Baker Mayfield
For of all sad 1st overall picks of Mike Brown’s pen,
The saddest are these: “It might have been!”
Next come those of Matt Millen,
Who declares “I’ll take a receiver again!”
Are we calling the Cleveland backfield “Chunt” yet?
It’s not 69 but NICE!!!
That backfield FUCKS.
Heat about to make Bill Simmons cry
Anything that makes that jerkoff cry is ok with me
+1 person NOT denying this.
Level 69 gut punch. Now applying the General Theory of Ewing to Tatum
No more Hunt, put Chubb back in the game.
I’m going need another 15 minutes or so before I can put Chubb back in
i had Chubb all season last year.
You’re supposed to see a doctor after four hours.
Thats one wily Brown Khunt.
Man, I wish both teams could win tonight so both Just Stop Dude and Redshirt could go to bed happy.
Tie?
What the fuck? You’d think OBJ shat in the ref’s breakfast.
Not out of the realm of possibilities.
MAY HAVE BEEN?
Schroedinger’s Pass Interference
Boy, Beckham sure pulled that run out of his ass, eh?
Potty humor.
Yup, he’s playing dirty tonight
You know the best thing about the BLM protests, AM sports radio has someone gotten both less and more racist.
Best thing about COVID quarantine is I haven’t heard AM sports radio in over a year.
Because I don’t commute anymore I am in the same boat.
Gentlemen AM sports radio has gone plaid