Look at that shiny new machine! Them Raiders are going to take it for a spin tonight but without the delightful characters that usually inhabit the stands. I think that’s a minor victory for you and I, the average viewer. I’ve a few observations but I think we should first take a stroll down Injury Lane. [holds out hand]
C.J. Uzomah-Achilles tendon ruptureroo
McCaffrey-High Cankle Strain
Saquon-ACL owchie
S. Shepard-Toe is turfed, concussion scheduled for wk. 8
D. Adams-Strained Hamster
P. Campbell-Sprained MCL/PCL/IPO/CIA
Jimmy G.-Ankle Kablooie
R. Mustard-MCL, with the Candlestick, on the field
T. Coleman-“Mystery Knee Thingy”
C. Akers-Ribs (Un-sauced)
C. Sutton-taking courses at ACLU “GO TORTS!”
D. Lock-“Labrum? I hardly know him!”
Tyrod T.-Chest Pains caused by painkilling injection*
*might be a fact
TO THE GAME!
Saints/Raiders:
-The Raiders generous D gifted the (“We’re thinking about tanking, we’ll see how it goes”) Panthers with 30 points last week so you may want to take the over on the Brees getting 2.5 TD passes.
-Yeah, sure Michael Thomas and his lion’s share (32%) of passing targets is gone but the Raiders D ranked 31st in Football Outsiders DVOA stat and they didn’t really upgrade that much. I’m guessing that Kamara and Sanders eat a part of that up and that there will be a renewed focus on the ground game.
-Rb Jacobs scored himself 3 TD’s last week and that puts him at almost 50% of the way towards his 7 total from last year. I don’t imagine he’ll have the space to run tonight that he had last week. That Saints D has playmakers at every level, as a certain Mr. Brady discovered last week.
Any score predictions? I’ll do 35-13 Saints. Give me yours down below. Speaking of below, closest to the final tally gets a virtual pat on the rump.
Well that was dumb
That’s (Rikki’s) Raiders!
You can leave Oakland, but the sloppy play and unnecessary penalties are eternal.
this IS…the most INTERESTING extra point in the world
FLAGKAKKIE
Anyone commented how weak young Hochuli looks compared to his father?
Why doesn’t the bigger Hochuli simply eat the smaller one?
He looks like a girl
BLEERGH is quite pleased with this.
When did Sean Payton get fat? Did I just forget to body shame him before??
’cause HE FAT
I don’t care all that much about this game, just please don’t let Taysom Hill score a touchdown
NFL got a deal to put Malk in every team’s dining facility?
Those dairy farmers bitch about everything.
those RICH dairy farmers bitch about everything.
But is the TV camera OK?
Hard to say. Hasn’t moved yet.
Al Davis needed a vessel.
thats a robot right?
He legitimately might be dead.
Dude literally got run over
https://gfycat.com/windyloathsomedavidstiger
Marshawn !
So in seeing the arrest today in Canada with the woman with ricin at the border. How would one go and procure said toxin? Not that I want some but I am genuinely curious.
Also, do people really believe the president opens his own mail?
Wackos out of touch with reality? Yeah, they do.
She messed up and should have written from Putin on the envelope.
Fat ass would have made sure only he opens that letter
according to Breaking Bad you just make beans real hot or something g
Derived from the beans of the castor oil plant.
Good Lord, scary is an understatement
Dead Raider
Keep the damn TV carts away from the players.
Give it to Murray!
LOL
raiders really think they have a shot winning this game
That’s My Raiders!
/not watching yet but I assume something has happened in the last three minutes that makes it relevant
A few blown tackles leading to a 3rd &8 conversion to first and goal
Simulcasting on ABC tonight for all you cord cutters out there. I figure it will be on ABC permanently once MNF’s contract expires after next season.
you in Vegas? I assumed that was local rights to show the game
Nope, Chicago. My wife was wondering why Dancing With the Stars wasn’t on.
Same for Boston
Fake crowd noise not needed. All they had to do was mic’up a local bar. The non-idiot Governor lifted the ban on bars last night.
I’ve heard of meat curtains, but shield curtains?
I don’t care if she shaves her head.
*raises glass*
Evening people.
Folks
Bow wow
eternal flame, representing Al’s new homeland
Where’s Al’s cryo-crypt in that place?
Yeah, same place as Ted Williams’ head.
No need, mummification process is a snap in this climate. You really think the Raiders only reason for coming to Vegas was a tax break.
Mmmm… Stanley Cup Final and Monday Night Foobawl
/Homer drool
I see my seats at Allegiant Stadium.
They are empty. Fucking Governor not doing the President’s job!
Just a simple innocent platonic internet picture search for “Emma Peel” and one of the results is Serena Willams yelling at an umpire with a caption about Bill Belichick. Nice going Alta Vista…
You from Pawnee?
Newcomer JimU is bringing it! Love to see it!
Thank you kindly.
Vegas is gonna need to start renaming street names just very soon.
#wouldpen
Devonta is gonna work out for the Jizziants.
I totally predicted this in my head but not on this site. Can you give me a bit of leeway here?
found a funny:
my date looks at me before closing her eyes and leaning in. her lips purse. “are u ready…” i whisper in her ear “to play settlers of catan”. her eyes snap open in surprise. the game is already set up on the floor. “when did u–” i shush her with my finger
That joke takes on a whole new meaning if you know that Settlers requires at least three players….
When did a Gorilla gluing things together become the norm in adverts? This isn’t right. This isn’t right at all.
Ook.OOk-ook.*
* Well, here’s Wonderwall
“Requested ‘Classical Gas’, but whatever, smgdh.”
-H. Himmler
yea that got $$$ to spend in adverts
Did we ever get confirmation that Job Gruden moved into the Hooters hotel and casino full time?
Plus bottomless bucket of Corona beer.
Drew Jacobs, Ruggs, and Latavius on the DFS snake draft. Meh. I’ve drafted worse.
I need Kamara to score just 49 less points than Breesus in the DFO not-crazy league to beat Scotchy.
You gonna win. And I hate you.
Yeah, the kid left out “sentence”. smgdh…
Listening to First Wave and early Police came on and fuck those guys were great before Sting became a fuckwad!
Watching The Detectives has come on a few times lately on First Wave. Good Lovin’, what a great tune. Percussion action is fantastic!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1Qnt5bx1OI&ab_channel=SumnerCoy
Tangential: Saw EC’s producer Nick Lowe at Antone’s in Austin a couple years back; his backing band was Los Straitjackets; awesome show and he did a couple EC songs, including What’s So Funny About Peace Love and Understanding. I remember when EC came out in the 70’s everyone kind of freaked out, “Who is this nerdy looking mofo with the great tunes?!?”
“She’s filing her nails while they’re dragging the lake” might be the greatest line in any song ever!
Speaking of below, closest to the final tally gets a virtual pat on the rump.
This was a great album. Lemme guess, they are raging Trumpers like Mr. Nugent.
Brief search results: Can’t find anything that indicates any affiliation.
I would like 30 pts from Mr. Jacobs please. It’s been a shit couple of weeks. Give me this.
/is in car with screaming toddler waiting for wife. Rage level rising.
Cars don’t have trunks in Canadia?
I would crawl in myself.
One very tiny silver lining of the pandemic is that Raiders fans can’t go to games this year. I imagine Raiders fan would descend upon Vegas like Immortan Joe’s marauders in Mad Max: Fury Road.
If they were allowed to go?
Dress Code: Spikes on shoulder pads? Mandatory.
Vegas reopened bars at midnight. That doesn’t really matter. Just sharing.
Last night or tonight? If tonight, shows poor judgment in timing. Unless they’re moving the game start time.
Last night. The degenerates were featured on the morning news as they reported on site from newly opened bars.
I think you mean Las Vegas, noted Hockey Town.
I drove by the new minor league arena they are beginning construction on today for the Henderson Silver Knights!
Henderson!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMf2fAXPS1Q
For the games that took place during school days all the boys at my Elementary School (“GO WATSONS!”) were ushered into the gym and we sat on mats and watched. Girls did ‘whatever’ somewhere else. Even the ones that wanted to watch the game. They were dismissed as ‘wannbe, attention-seeking hockey fans’. It was a simpler, stupider, misogynist-er time.
I learned everything I know about the Series from an episode of Canada’s greatest export, Corner Gas.
BTW, if the Bobby’s played (Hull and Orr) the series would have been a blowout for The Canada.
Woulda been a nice break for (flips coin to pick a Bobby) Hull’s wife’s face, too.
“Her greatest trick? Turning a multi-millionaire into a millionaire.”
-B. Hull
You mean “noted escort town”
without the delightful characters that usually inhabit the stands.
They’re probably going to hang out in the parking lot and get drunk and not wear masks and not distance and breathe and sneeze and cough on each other. It’ll be like Sturgis but with less motorcycles and more desert.
I stole/slightly modified Scotchy’s line above for use on a snarky political website I inhabit, where they call any sport sportsball. Buncha fucking elitist liberals.
Yeah, I would vote to retire the use of “sportsball” to indicate how one is, you know, so ABOVE such petty things as knowing the names of different sports. We know all the “sportsball” haters aren’t spending their free time reading Proust. If you can name all the Kardashian children, don’t pretend that other people’s hobbies are frivolous.
Yeah, I’ve made the point a few times in the comments that using the term is patronizing and condescending, nice way to draw people to your side by sneering at them, etc.
Someone on The Twitter pointed out that yesterday, when the Giants were trying to draw the Bears offside on 4th and 3, center Nick Gates never put his hand on the football. JFC…
SMRT!