Your Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Will we even get 100 comments on this thread? Usually the later afternoon games are treated like a Dalton-headed stepchild relative to the early games and the nighter. Maybe I’ll just flood the place with petty gripes, obvious observations, hot takes and anti-Giant vitriol. Okay, maybe I’ll just stick to the last one. BUT THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF IT.

TO THE GAMES!

Giants/Rams:

If you’re in a survivor pool you could do worse than simply picking against the NFC East teams as your sure-fire winner. Much like the Eagles the Giants are looking to the practice squad for wr’s, further thinning out an already thin unit. Is Aaron Donald the frontrunner for Defensive Player of the Year? If he’s not he will be after running over this underperforming o-line. Goff, having been asked to do less has responded with the best completion %, yds per completion and yards per attempt of his career. Hey Giants, RUN LEFT-every running play vs. the Rams that has gone over 10 yards has been to that side.

Bills/Raiders:

Here’s a contrast in mindsets qb-wise. Allen has cut down on his interceptions but still has the 7th most number of turnover-worthy plays-indicating that he’s willing to take risks (of course the other side of the coin is bad decision-making). Carr has the 6th best passing grade since 2018 of pass plays over 20 yards but his average depth of target is only 6.9 the last two years. That says that he settles for the safe play rather than trying to be aggressive.

Colts/Bears:

Are the Bears the shakiest 3-0 team in the league? Two of their W’s came in games where their win probability number dropped to 1%, so yeah. On the other side, give rook rb Taylor another go vs. a run D that ranks 20th in DVOA.

Do some damage below.

 

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rockingdog

Bahaha
The claiming of #ProudBoys by Gay Twitter may be the best thing to happen in 2020.

Mother Puncher

The best thing to happen this year happened Friday

montythisseemsstrangetome

The best thing to happen this year will happen on Nov 3. Or, maybe not til a few days after Nov 3.

Game Time Decision

Or before, give me a minute
– corona

montythisseemsstrangetome

I love that the NFL holds such power over the networks that they have to advertise games on other networks.

Gatoraids

With that hand off the bills trying hardest to blow it since Buffalo 66

clint greasewood

Petermania!!!

Gatoraids

Raiders still grinding it on Gutytics

hippofant

I feel like this BUF-LV game has been stuck in 30-16 4th quarter garbage time for 2 hours now.

Doktor Zymm

If the Bears somehow win this….I will be very surprised

clint greasewood

Old School on network television?

montythisseemsstrangetome

Could fit into 30 minute time slot after editing for content – including commercial time.

Mother Puncher

There are surprisingly few images of elisha cuthbert’s ass from that movie available online

Last edited 3 years ago by Mother Puncher
Doktor Zymm

GO GLASSES!

Gatoraids

You’d think with all the vegas mob ties the Raiders would be better at garbage time

Doktor Zymm

Maybe they’re not supposed to cover today?

Gatoraids

Yeah and we can all see how much Gruden hates covering

Fronkenshteen

Ha! +1

Gatoraids

Renfrow brought a ladder on field for that catch

Doktor Zymm

Chain pizza is not great, but I do appreciate their willingness to use an obscene amount of cheese

Dunstan

Just be careful not to try to outpizza the Hut.

King Hippo

When did Brokeback add a paedo-stache to his creeper repertoire?

Dunstan

Serious (but possibly dumb) question: why did we start calling him Brokeback?

Mother Puncher

Josh Allen? Because he’s from Wyoming maybe?

litre_cola

Yep, Wyoming Cowboy and I believe he made some homphobic remarks back in the day. Hence Brokeback.

Mother Puncher

He dropped a few n bombs in high school; never heard about the homophobic stuff

Gumbygirl

They go together like a horse and buggy.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Like peanut butter and chocolate!
—Reese

King Hippo

yeah, there was sommet in air about homophobic stuff online

King Hippo

Meet the new Raiders, same as the old Raiders.

Gratliff

lol
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet” data-conversation=”none” data-cards=”hidden” data-partner=”tweetdeck”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Career stats for Eagles wide receivers in this 49ers game:<br><br>Greg Ward — 59 targets, 42 recs, 362 yards, 2 TD<br><br>Deontay Burnett — 23 targets, 15 recs, 210 yards, 0 TD<br><br>John Hightower — 7 targets, 3 recs, 17 yards, 0 TD<br><br>Travis Fulgham — 0 targets<a href=”https://t.co/PtbJKPi0iu”>https://t.co/PtbJKPi0iu</a></p>&mdash; Brandon Lee Gowton (@BrandonGowton) <a href=”https://twitter.com/BrandonGowton/status/1312891433179918336?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>October 4, 2020</a></blockquote>

Gratliff

We’re in “Year 5 of Madden career” levels of player name generator

Gatoraids

dark gods approve of Travis Fulgrimm

Mother Puncher

Travis? Fugg’im

Gatoraids

Remainder of Red Zone to be sponsored by Waste Management for rest of day

King Hippo

Somebody wake passed out Scotchy, for we made it well over 100 comments!

Gratliff

Saw someone reference dripping toast, so I was curious what it was and was sent to a British recipe site and I’m going to have a stroke reading this shit.

As you cook the mince should take on a wobble of thickness, the vegetables expressing themselves while starting to become very much part of the whole.

ArmedandHammered

Sounds more like an SJW manifesto.

Gratliff

Most people don’t understand that E Pluribus Unum is mostly referring to stew

herodotus450

If the vegetables express themselves too much, you have failed to properly discipline them.

Mother Puncher

You have to have your vegetables expressed occasionally or it becomes uncomfortable to walk.

Gratliff

If the Eagles get a tie again, the NFC East would be 2-12-2. Gotta root for the symmetry.

King Hippo

I would glad kill to make this so.

Gatoraids

Only better would be 2112 cuz they all are showing ass on the cover

Don T

??

King Hippo

I don’t recall a late window fixture ending before 7p EST before. Surely not almost 15 minutes prior.

Gatoraids

That’s good hustle, judge keeping injury risk down

King Hippo

/slaps ass. HARD!

//goes on IR

Mother Puncher

Who becomes a Patriot first: Hunter Renfrew or Hayden Hurst

The Maestro

Yes

Gatoraids

They merge to become Hunter Hayden Hurst

Last edited 3 years ago by Gatoraids
Mother Puncher

And then quits to play lacrosse

Gatoraids

New York(jersey) needs to expand the quarantine to the Meadowland’s for the rest of the year while they’re at it.

Gatoraids

Like gruden making a challenge to get me 2 pts

WCS

PRAISE SHANK’LOR

litre_cola

Glory boy qb keeping it for himself.

litre_cola

Giants cover. That’s good.

Petronel

Aaaand that’s game

Gatoraids

Danny dimes hallelujah

Gratliff

Jesus christ rams

Gratliff

yay rams

JimU

The Bears have the Colts right where they want them!

Last edited 3 years ago by JimU
The Maestro

Folks. Hope you’re well! Just crushed a fuck ton of carbs and a nap, and it’s time to do nothing but FOOBAW for the rest of the day.

Also, the President is totally dead.

Gatoraids

Just going for a cruise

20201004_184449.jpg
Gratliff

Where we’re going, we won’t need masks

Viva La Tabula Raza

thought you said “crabs” and thought “dude’s in Mass, not Maryland, why not lobstah?”

Horatio Cornblower

Came back from a nice weekend in Vermont, (oh, is the beer fridge a thing of beauty right now), to find that the Cowboys managed to lose to the Browns, are 1-3, and are still in firm control of their play-off destiny.

The NFC East everyone! Smell the methane flares coming off that garbage pile!

Doktor Zymm

I’m rooting for the NFC East winner to have fewer than 6 wins.

Viva La Tabula Raza

You’ll probably get your wish. It’s 2020, after all.

Horatio Cornblower

7-9 wins this shitshow going away.

litre_cola

Breathe in the SUCK!

Gratliff

Sorry, that’s Secret Service work

clint greasewood

Heady Topper?

Horatio Cornblower

Heady, Focal Banger, Luscious, and Rapture.

Also several run-off that could be good, could be disaster. Banana Bread beer? Something called Machine Oil? What could go wrong!?

Mother Puncher

I miss Vermont. usually go there every summer but this year they weren’t taking in refugees from third world countries (Ohio)

yeah right

It was nice to see the Vikings execute the offense as needed but losing Harrison Smith to a DQ damn near killed us. It’s amazing how integral a safety is to the defense but he is that important.
Fuck it, a win is a win.

SKOL!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Beasley=gritty?

Gratliff

Gonna have to check my color chart

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think he’s even blonde. Sieg Heil!

Doktor Zymm

On the plus side, my projector shows color really well. On the minus side the Rams unis are almost physically painful to look at

Gatoraids

Thought Chicago s orange team bad unis the worst of the day

yeah right

You should switch to the Bills Raiders if only to relax the eyeballs.

Gatoraids

I’m the red zone strobe channel

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not a horrible game, either.

herodotus450

“(throws projector into their solid gold dumpster)”
-Donald Sterling and Jerry Richardson simultaneously

litre_cola

What is a catch?

Downfield Matriculator

Raiders receivers will need to look at game tape from some other team to find out

WCS

“Don’t ask us!”

— the NFL

WCS

I see tackling has become a purely theoretical concept for the Bills.

Gatoraids

They should put Oakland’s o into garbage time by now

Doktor Zymm

Football Team and Neutered Cows tied for first at 1-3, LOL

Doktor Zymm

Ah, I see the late games are progressing as expected