But yeah, something’s got a sick sense of humour. Everything was lining up so well for Dak. He was gonna get some big money no matter how things shook out. Now? Maybe a one year ‘prove it’ deal. That ain’t right, that ain’t right at all. I read a word fart about Dak being “the future” but the Cowboys’ actions speak volumes.
Fallout:
-Speaking of ‘goners’, look for A.J. Green to be traded or released. One catch for three yards and a pathetic attempt at 1) batting down a potential interception and 2) making a tackle on said intercept. Redshirt probably doesn’t want to hear this but Cincy was smart as hell going after Tee Higgins. Sometimes a plan comes together…
-I laughed out loud hearing that Dan Quinn was replaced by DC Raheem Norris, the guy who was at the center of, oh, 70-75% of the Falcons problems. He’ll bring all the wisdom gained during his 17-31 run with Tampa to bear on the team. I’m not ruling out a one or two game bump though.
-Chase Claypool-his hometown is Abbotsford, British Columbia, as CBC was so proud to point out this morning-had himself a day for the ages. Did I mention something about rook wr’s getting up to speed recently? I love being right because it makes up for the 90% of times when I’m wrong.
-Daniel Jones is looking like David Carr these days. Remember that guy who never had a chance to develop (despite having skills) because his O-line caused him to be beaten to a pulp?
TO THE GAME!
Chargers/Saints:
-Mikey Thomas was ruled out yesterday(?). The reason being that he got into a fracas (this word is not used enough) with safety C.J. who care about his last name?
-Justin Herbert is the new ‘fuck it, I’m going long’ guy. Last week he had two scores of 72 and 53 yards. He’s tied for 2nd in TD’s over 20 yards (that’s throws over 20 yards, not a dink pass for 5 that ended up as a long score) despite being 25th in pass attempts.
-Now starring in the Halloween special, “The RB That Just Won’t Go Away” is Kalen Ballage, who was just signed to the Chargers practice squad. Folks complain about shitty coaches being recycled all the time-what about K.B.? And yes, I have no idea why I’m following his career so closely.
-Hunter Henry might just do something tonight (my fantasy brain hopes). When the Saints lost to the Raiders they gave up 15 catches, 142 yards and a score to that spot.
Let’s do this!
He’s a First Amendment type receiver?
Thomas suspended for acting out, meanwhile Michael Irvin tried to stab a teammate with scissors and didn’t miss a game.
You gotta want it, Payton.
I need one Breesusdown. Am not hopeful.
Oh, you’ll get it.
If anyone knows about gettin’ it, it’s a guy named Balls.
Litre: you’re welcome!
Horatio: Thank you!
Yah buddy!
Back to back Prop 22 ads. They’re spending a LOT of money!
I checked my mail today and 90% of it was election fliers including one for prop 22. Also, a ballot for a former resident. I’ve lived here for 3 years and I still get important shit like ballots, social services packets, car loan collection notices, etc for former residents.
So happy that the Subaru ad on the show my wife is watching is making me feel like an asshole because the rescue dog we adopted was a puppy and had four legs, instead of being on death’s door with 2.5 limbs.
It really doesn’t count as a “rescue dog” if it’s a puppy. It’s just a puppy.
I like that they have scheduled the Masters for November so it will distract Leatherface from any kind of civil war he tries to initiate.
Don’t know if that will deter his Army of Maniacs, though.
If y’all enjoyed the high flying Saints offensive attack of years gone by, light a candle. Drew is done. It doesn’t give me pleasure to say this but it’s clear fucking cut.
I disagree. He’s moving into Tom Brady I can only do five yard passes mode. He’ll keep getting stats for a couple of years until he retires.
Manning won a Superb Owl with no arm.
No worse than second best over 40 year old QB in the NFL
Maybe he can do a Brady-like move and spend his last couple years in Atlanta, displacing Matty Ice.
Heads asploding.
I just picked up food from an Italian place that I had not gone to since college. I last went there on a date and we both agreed the best thing about the date was the food.
So did it hold up?
Better than I remembered! Will definitely order again.
Sorry the sex wasn’t as good as the food.
Thank you for assuming there was actually sex.
I was figuring you had sex with the food.
Those red chili flakes get EVERYWHERE!
It’s like edible glitter, but fewer tits
DaMario Davis is a good linebacker. DaWario, on the other hand…
He’s a good linebacker too but he’s evil.
DaWaluigi disagrees.
What do figure skating and the Saints have in common? A Lutz will help your score!
that was the SOVIET judge
My Dak!-led team in DFO ball could plausibly still limp to a Week 5 win (no ofence)
Don T is just rolling up folks week after week.
Hrmm, what’ll ya gimme for MRSA Dreamboat?
Lutz’d
I guess the NFL is now part of the public school system, because Breesus has no place in it.
thanks Obama!!!!1111
Dear IBM’s Watson. With any probabilistic decision you still need luck. But I guess you’re fleecing the rubes, so go with it.
Keenan downgraded to out.
Come on Shitty Clippers D and Diggs
what about Peele???
The Cryptkeeper on pizza shooters
I think that was a Vulcan Death Sack
Brees is going to transfer his consciousness to Hill after a freak parade float explosion
Weird, Vulcan Death Sack was the name of my TrekCon Filk band
Tomorrow’s Covid Bowl is going to be great. The Josh Allen experience is death defying (if your an NFL Coach) and the way Singletary is ignored. It’s almost sublime.
Brees folded like a Buffalo table
I made the exact same comment last week. I changed the channel this week, so I guess he didn’t get better.
Speaking of Berman…is DFO going to do readers Ghost Stories this year? I think it was skipped last year.
Oh! Yeah, we should probably start talking about that. Maybe a “pestilence” theme.
Eh, it’s been done*.
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2020/03/30/the-mock-of-the-red-draft/
*just blatantly ripped off
Let’s do real ghost or unexplained stories.
I like the theme idea of a FF league, where all of the team names are dictatorial ramblings/slogans. Make reading those Yahoo automated “matchup” articles more fun.
It might be like the problem The Onion has had, can we actually outdo reality in 2020?
(one 20 minute discussion about election history, polling bias and Biden campaign strategy later)
“…and that is how Trump will win reelection.”
(entire Commentrait shrieks in terror)
Steelers are gonna win their division this year, right?
I doubt it. Big Ben can’t keep this up all season long. Voodoo curses can only go so far.
they’d have to at least split with the Ratbirds, who I think now get a bye before the first game with PIT (and PIT does nae)
Either way, if the two Browns, both Pristini and Praesenti, keep the pace, this division may need 13 games to win it.
Good god Berman has gotten senile
Jesus Humphrey Christ what ditch did they get Boomer out of? Holy fuck.
Booger saying that the Cowboys might be a little better because a Dalton-led offense will keep the defense off the field longer is all you need to know about why you should never listen to anyone named ‘Booger’.
I thought it was Gollum?
He’s on Sunday nights. Mondays he hangs out with the family.
Change that to Dungy is on Sunday nights and you have yourself a banner right there.
Much like JJ Watt, I’m not here for the glory, just to help the team.
Matron looking great as always
Evening Folks
‘sup
bow wow
Hey. Hope Dak recovery goes well
“For My Sake, just give me the ball.”
— Breesus
WHY THE FUCK IS TAYSOM HILL INVOLVED AT ALL??????? DO HIM AND DREW SOAK TOGETHER AFTER THE GAME????
/Hill is mormon you see
“suck” is how it’s spelled
I really should be aware of U’s more. I feel Canadian shame.
At least you didn’t go with ‘souk’. That’s a whole different thing.
The simplest play is the QB sneak. Do it
There ya go
Sean Payton is missing out on the branded facemask market.
‘Gourmet’ popcorn has to be one of the best scams. It’s cheap as fuck, and you can charge absurd prices for it
Orville Reddenbacher was a Hoosier
“Hoosier” – a Philadelphian describing a Canadian.
Hoosier – Indiana inbred. Thats redundant.
Popcorn anywhere but at home falls into that category. How about “Truffle popcorn” at a pretentious
restaurantgastroplace.Even movie theater popcorn. The only exception is bars that have free popcorn.
“If you’re overweight, you might think it’s your metabolism, but it’s really because you won’t stop shoveling pig lard into your cake hole with both hands you goddamn slob”
-What the commercial I just saw would be saying if it was interested in the truth
Either we saw different commercials or I TOTALLY missed the subtext in the Dark Horse Wines commercial
Struck me as a local ad, and I would never slander alcohol that way.
Strangest Trump election ad I’ve ever heard of.
Going to get this bad boy refinished. Authentic barber chair from the old, old, old days.
Add a few electrodes and you got Old Sparky
Refinishing at Italian guy’s barber chair?
Gonna need a second mortgage for the degreaser alone.
Play us out to halftime:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-43lLKaqBQ
“See!?! SEE! I told you all she was real!!”
-Manti Te’o
THIS DREW BREES, I CALL HIM KATRINA BECAUSE HE’S SINGLE HANDEDLY RUINING NEW ORLEANS
Take your +1, your banner.
Drew Brees arm gone.
I ordered so much shit out of the backs of comic books. A dollar was worh the six week wait for shitty, probably toxic toys
Yeah. ‘probably’
I think Wish has filled the desire for cheap, shitty, possibly toxic stuff that looks awesome in the ad nowadays.
Justin Hebert still has acne. I have chronic knee arthritis and GERD. I imagine Breesus understands.
Gonna Ejaculate Randomly Disorder?
That’s rough man.
Drew Brees’s arm is the Dak Prescott’s ankle of upper body extremities.
QB passes are like eggs, the old ones float
Much like the kids in the sewers of Castle Rock…
Should’ve run it
Trying to get rid of the white elephant on the left. The one on the right is mine. I want to bash Elton John’s head in with a piece of uncut marble, but we’ve owned this machine for three decades.
Holy shit Fozz has great toys!!!
Turkey and Red wine en route to Baltimore!
Mrs Fozz has her own collection.
Gently used.
Aaaand you win everything.
Sweet! My favorite has always been the Twilight Zone machine
Jukebox and pinball?? The hell does the rest of your basement look like??
Motion to move the DFO Clubhouse to Fozz’s basement
Seconded
Seconded!
Thirded!
MI CASA SU CASA!
Stripper pole. There’s gotta be a stripper pole.
Not all people do well on the pole. Sometimes the St. Andrews Cross is more appropriate
It’s full of uncut marble and bloodstains. Pay attention.
Impressive. We have owned a 1989 Whirlwind for 15 years and its had more years down than up.
How much you want for the Williams?
We used to have a cool Dracula pinball machine, but we move too often for that to be a good idea.
This should be an Ekeler down….
Breesus-ception!?!
Pickerception
Trying to get rid of this beast. Christ it weighs a metric ton.
Is that a fucking jukebox?
It fucking is.
No, just a regular jukebox. Unfortunately…
I appreciate your use of the metric system.
A friend of mine had one of those and sold it and I had to help him move it and now we’re no longer friends.
Not only are the heavier than hell, they’re awkward as fuck to try and get any sort of decent grip on.