INT. DECREPIT FRATERNITY HOUSE – VERY LATE NIGHT

Everything in Delta House is very dark, and very still.  A spectral figure silently ascends the stairway, then floats down the hall where it comes to a stop in front of a closed door.

DISEMBODIED VOICE: Ha ha ha ha, these stupid pledges are gonna shit…their…pants!

— [door flies open] —

The GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ flies into the room, brandishing a half-smoked blunt and an ectoplasm pistol painted black to look like a real handgun. 

GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ: WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKING PLEDGES DUSTED THIS BLUNT? I TOLD YOU SHITSTAINS I DIDN’T WANT ANY SHERM IN THIS THING! I SWEAR I’M GONNA BLOW ALL OF YOUR FUCKING…

The GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ lowers his weapon, realizing that there’s nobody in the room.  In fact, there’s very little sign that anyone lives here at all. 

GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ: What the fuck?  Where the hell did all those little shits go?

We follow the GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ back downstairs, as he floats through the living room, futilely searching for the boys.

GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ: Yo, where the fuck did you little homies go?  Cam?  Antonio?  Blanco?  [suddenly, an idea strikes him] Oh, wait.

He looks underneath the couch, to no avail.

GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ: Shit, the Hamster ain’t here either.

He flies into the keg room, which like a bread factory, but is otherwise silent.  He floats up past the Head Bortles’ room – the open door reveals another empty room.  The GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ heads back downstairs, where he floats around the living room listlessly. 

GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ: Damn.  Where the hell did everyone go?

— [door flies open] —

GHOST OF JUNIOR SEAU: Aloha, friend.

GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ: Que pasa, amigo?  Where is everybody?

GHOST OF JUNIOR SEAU: That’s what I came over to ask you!  Everyone at Tiki house has disappeared.  It’s spooky.

GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ: Word.  Maybe we should…

— [door flies open] —

GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ: Oh, hey Jovan.  Nobody’s around at your place too?

GHOST OF JOVAN BELCHER: …

GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ: [to JUNIOR] Did he just nod?

GHOST OF JUNIOR SEAU: I think so, yeah.

GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ: Man, this is some voodoo shit or something.

— [afterlife flies open] —

GHOST OF TODD MARINOVICH: Hey guys, how’s it going.

GHOST OF JUNIOR SEAU: Wait, you’re not dead.

GHOST OF TODD MARINOVICH: Oh, I’m just dropping by real quick.  Ryan should have the Narcan shot ready any second now.

GHOST OF JUNIOR SEAU: Wait, before you go, can you tell us where the hell all the living folks went?  Campus is completely empty.

GHOST OF TODD MARINOVICH: You didn’t hear?  There’s a pandemic going on.  All the schools are closed.  Haven’t you guys been watching all this on TV?

GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ: How the fuck are we gonna turn a TV on, ese?  Maybe you haven’t noticed but none of us can interact with the material plane so good, comprende?

GHOST OF TODD MARINOVICH: Oh, right.  Anyhow, [his eyes blink really quickly] it looks like there’s an ambulance with my name on it pulling up.  Gotta run!

The GHOST OF TODD MARINOVICH fades away, and the three remaining ghosts look at each other. 

GHOST OF JUNIOR SEAU: Shit.  Guess it’s just us for Halloween.  What should we do?

GHOST OF JOVAN BELCHER: …

GHOST OF AARON HERNANDEZ: Tell stories?  Yeah…I like it.  Let’s see what we can come up with!

—

Welcome to DoorFliesOpen.com’s annual Halloween celebration of spooky stories.  Stick around with us throughout the day to enjoy some spine-tingling* tales of terror as we celebrate the most pandemerific Halloween ever!

*Tingling feeling in spine may not be experienced by all readers.