Your Sunny Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

The sun is out here so it must be out everywhere. That’s the kind of rock-solid logic you can take to the bank, mister.

TO THE GAMES!

Panthers/Chiefs:

I mean, this one was over as soon as the sked was revealed, right? Carolina defends the long ball well so look for Mahomes to take what he is given underneath. (bodes well for the rb’s) Now here is where it gets funny-if the Panthers successfully defend the long ball and limit plays underneath that means that the defense with the most amount of missed tackles will then have to shine. Nope. McCaffrey and his beaver brown band is back.

Broncos/Falcons:

Denver has a great coverage unit but old Julio is kinda bulletproof. With Ridley out Gage (he has the third most yards among wr3’s) and Christian Blake will see some as well. Atlanta can’t defend the te so Fant is in play-if he gets at least 5 targets the odds are that he’ll also get a TD.

Seahawks/Bills:

It seemed like MVP talk involving Josh Allen happened a long time ago. The first 4 weeks of the year he was QB2, the last 4 weeks he’s been QB13. There is good news for him today though-the Hawks have allowed more rushing TD’s to his spot than any other team. Neither of these teams can stop the talent out there so, PLAY ‘EM ALL!

Bears/Titans:

Both teams are coming off 2 straight losses but I have faith in the Titans (Survivor!) Besides, at the time I called the 5-1 Bears the weakest in the league and they’re just obeying me. Chicago has allowed the most 15+ rushing gains so far this year and well, well, look who has the third most in the league? I think Henry has himself a game if he can get to the second level a few times. The Bears also give up tons of yards to te’s so Jonnu might be in play.

Ravens/Colts:

Those of you (like me) that have been sitting on Dobbins all year can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. A hundy vs the Steelers and a 33% missed tackle number surely means that he gets the lion’s share of carries going forward, right? Woo boy, according to PFF, since last year Rivers has thrown (in a noodly fashion) 42 turnover-worthy passes-that ties him with the one and only Dimes.

Lions/Vikes:

Good news for Minny-without Golladay on the field his QB rating takes a swan dive. He’ll still do some tossing so Marvin Jones is playable but your sneaky start might be Marvin Hall who went for 114 last week. As for Cook, he owns the Lions so he going for 125 and 2 for sure.

Giants/Team:

Many pundits are telling the air that Team’s d-line will crush today but if any unit of the Giants is showing improvement it’s the o-line. They were supposed to have their collective heads clobbered vs Tampa and it didn’t happen. Thing is, they’re doing it with 3 rooks. Weird! Don’t be afraid to start McLaurin-in the first meeting, of the 12 targets he had he was defended by Bradberry only twice.

Texans/Jags:

Let’s all welcome Jake Luton aboard. As far as debuts are concerned you couldn’t ask for an easier one here. His draft assessment tells us that he has a much stronger arm than Minshew but that he’s also a guy that doesn’t take a lot of risks. So maybe fade Chark (he’s being covered by Robey also) and take a swing at Laviska Shenault. A super sneaky play might be Jordan Akins because the Jags have surrendered 7 TD’s to te’s.

 

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rockingdog

bow wow
quick Fantasy Football question yall..

should I play WR Diontae Johnson or WR Chase Claypool?

rockingdog

bow wow
thanks for the advice

Last edited 4 months ago by rockingdog
bk109

Meanwhile, at casa de Bk, I just realized that my tradesman’s certs are about to expire, lol. So, what do y’all reckon – should I renew my sparky card (and my aircon one for that matter), even though I don’t HAVE to work construction ever again, lol? 😀

Game Time Decision

Yes. You just never know

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nagy is a dumbass AND a wuss

Don T

I’ll take it!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My team is terrible

Don T

Mr. King is a former All Pro. Nice pickup after the Beasley debacle.

Wakezilla

Ghosts are also going after lesser footy players

https://twitter.com/i/status/1325519495708946433

rockingdog

there ya go
see Julio Jones can catch TD’s

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nick Foles looks committed to underscoring that Kap should still be in the league.

King Hippo

I was gonna start Irv Smith this week, but cut him for Ebron. Because I am too dum 2 live, see…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/pokes Panthers with a stick

Do something, DJ Moore!

Wakezilla

So does Buffalo have an amazing array of high end hookers who wore down the Hawks last night? Or is it chicken wings? Either way, the defense should not look this gassed

hippofant

I’m not sure I want to imagine what hookers in Buffalo look like.

King Hippo

They have had a signpost and turnstile defensing unit all season, they usually just score a fuckton so nobody notices.

Dunstan

I don’t know why a massive shopping run at the liquor store makes me so happy — it’s not like I was in danger of running out — but it does.

King Hippo

Fun place to ppl watch, and feel slightly better about oneself.

Dunstan

Turns out that on a Sunday morning during a pandemic, it’s pretty much just me and the staff. (Who confirmed that they sold a buttload of champagne yesterday.)

I stocked up on fall/winter beverages: bourbon and applejack; porters, stouts, and ciders; plus some new toys like Falernum.

King Hippo

Canadia Jeebus allows booze stores to be open on HIS DAY?? (smh)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lady BFC: We don’t need any more booze!
BFC: Incorrect.

bk109

Uh, I was laying some pipe and I heard on Redzone that Kyle Allen got Theismann’d…. please tell me that the Team hasn’t killed another career… please

Also, heyo y’all

King Hippo

oh yeah, he did that DAK! foot trick, got rolled up under a defender’s ass

bk109

… well, I can at least hope that Alex Smith tells him who “helped” him when he got injured, so he can avoid the fuck outta those incompetent shits…

King Hippo

maybe he also kept some horse tranqs in his locker

King Hippo

ah don’t want to live mah life agaaaaiiiiinnnn

Wakezilla

Holy shit! Search for Valentino Lazaro’s goal for Gladbach.

Wow.

Doktor Zymm

The only time the horse I usually ride has flipped out was when there was a giant snake nearby soaking up some sun when a couple of crows or ravens decided the snake would be a good snack. The snake objected and shook off the birds, which took off, scaring my horse. So yeah, really weird that the Ravens aren’t beating the Colts. Also, why no teams named after snakes?

herodotus450

Arizona may be a sun-drenched hellscape, but they do have the Diamondbacks

rockingdog

cool story hansel

rockingdog

Bills playing a pretty complete game all around
thats rockin

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, Scotchy, is Danny Dimes playing cromulently? My opponent started him and he has positive points.

Gratliff

Daniel "Washington, and only Washington, Slayer" Jones

— Dave Rappoccio () November 8, 2020

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can you tell him to hurry up and regress to the mean?

hippofant

Fucking NFL commentators trying to appeal to “men” by describing everything as strong.

What the FUCK is a STRONG LEAD? Do numerical differences in the number of points two teams have fucking LIFT now? Fuck off Chris Hanson.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Matt Nagy: videogame football play calling genius

rockingdog

bow wowow matt ryan
just throw it to julio jones in the end zone
he goin catch it
please

Wakezilla

The worst thing about this season is that Seattle is going to finish 13-3 or 12-4 and Wilson won’t receive any MVP votes because Tom Brady will unanimously win the MVP award when Tampa goes 10-6

King Hippo

Just like the Clemson/ND narrative that I predicted.

ThePirateSloth

*sigh* Either the Seahawks are gonna disappoint me by not bothering to attempt to win this game, or they are gonna tear the Bills up in the second half only to blow the fucking game on a 30 sec end of the game drive.

Wakezilla

First Alex Trebek, now Howie Meeker. Tough day for deaths in Canada

Gratliff

But they could be trying to sell him a poppy!

hippofant

Eh.

hippofant

As an immigrant, I wouldn’t wear a tiny red flower to commemorate Don Cherry’s death.

Doktor Zymm

What’s Beiber up to?

Wakezilla

William Shatner and Michael J Fox better not answer the door today

litre_cola

Just realized I am playing Spam in Freezer Vodka lge. That is a scalp I want.

Wakezilla

Lobbing it up for Metcalf to get it. More of that, Seahawks and less of everything else

ThePirateSloth

Right!

ThePirateSloth

MOONBALLS

rockingdog

MOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNBALLLLLLLLLL

ArmedandHammered

If I was Kyle Allen I would avoid whomever and where ever Alex Smith had is leg worked on.

Doktor Zymm

Team’s training staff is made up of pre-med students from Northern Virgina community college

Last edited 4 months ago by Doktor Zymm
Wakezilla

This Seahawks side are looking like the 1992 squad. Just terrible

ThePirateSloth

Turrible

HrNu4a.gif
ArmedandHammered

I dislike the way they have the points being added to the score show up as +3 or +7, they have the goofy character portraits and added this to make it look even more like a video game. How about showing player buffs and debuffs like concussion, broken bones, pain killers, and amphetamines under the team names. Totally go with the gaming theme.

Doktor Zymm

What’s the football equivalent of mana?

ArmedandHammered

Hmm, the announcers keep talking about Grit, maybe they can finally set up some sort of grit measure.

Gratliff

Holy shit, the Jets haven’t broken 100 points yet

ArmedandHammered

Have they even had 100 first downs?

Gratliff

Washington QB is the single most cursed position in the NFL. The Curse of Theissman

Wakezilla

Feels more like the curse of RGIII, as the Redacteds won a Superb Owl after the injury

rockingdog

bow wow
Alex Smith please rescue de washing team

King Hippo

As always, I want to see the emergency 3rd QB play. Haskins inactive again.

Doktor Zymm

That’s what happens when you build a stadium on the site of a future burial ground

King Hippo

yeah, that turf is JUST FINE, Shield. JEEBUS

Doktor Zymm

Landover or Chicago?

Doktor Zymm

Nvm, Bears are away this week. Gotta be fedex

King Hippo

Oh yeah. Bury my ankle at FedEx Field is Kyle Allen’s epitath.

ArmedandHammered

For the lawyers on the site:

https://www.oglaf.com/

rockingdog

shit dicks
why did I start the chiefs defense?
cause I got lazy thats why

King Hippo

One of us. ONE OF US!!

King Hippo

Black Panthers, REPRESENT!

hippofant
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

clint greasewood

Charmslingerception

rockingdog

ohhhh shiiittt
Wilsons throws the INT
thats not rockin

ThePirateSloth

well gotdamn

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am going to watch that play of Philip Rivers falling onto his back and then being hurtled over like 200 times over the course of this glorious day.

Game Time Decision

Quoteables this

ArmedandHammered

Reminded me of a turtle set on its back.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

TOO SOON

Doktor Zymm

Ravens defensing td!

clint greasewood

DJ Dallas sounds like he’s spinning the worst house jams in Texas

King Hippo

or at a cowboy-themed male strip joint