2020 Quotables – Week 11 (Results)

Don T

¡Hola! This is Don T, long time Quotables lurker, first time Winners poster. Enough formalities:

This “lurking” thing… I don’t like it. In this suffocating hellscape we call Real Life, a “lurker” is somewhere in the Voyeur to Psycho spectrum. The stalker vibe clings to a lurker like incompetent quarterbacking to the Bears. On the Internet, howevah, there’s a term that is the perfect equivalent to “lurking”: it’s “reading”.

The stuff on the Webz is public. It is for the very purpose of being looked at, mocked, ogled, judged, hated, admired, laughed at (unintentionally or otherwise) and, within social media, for feedin’ da haterz with My Awesome Lyfe. Lurking on the Internet consist of clicking and looking—nothing wrong there, at all.

And yet, feedback and starting a dialogue is what makes telecommunications magnificent. If only you could pick up a copy of “War and Peace” and jot down “Dynamite punctuation, translator”, or a DVD of “Lost in Translation” and scribble “So. Effin’. Tedious!1!1” Ok, that was tad harsh. Perhaps a rewatch is warranted. Maybe when I’m on a ventilator Covid coma.

Quotables, though, is all about us wackos, smartypants, “matriculate” enthusiasts (i.e., NFL fans and college administration employees), and folks for whom Vikings Love Boat, Rob Bironas references, and JFK’s oozing brains are evergreen forever and ever and ever because HUMOR DAMMIT. Leave good taste for business dealings. Otherwise, funny is funny.

In short, I talked myself into “lurking” around here being a bad thing. On DFO, the comments are where the action is—especially for Quotables. Be witty, dust-off that Kaiser Wilhelm / Adam Gase reference, get yer snark on, go full intentionally lame, try to top low-hangers with rotting fruit, or be outrageous. No one goes to Hell for jokes, only for actual heinous shite.

Thanks to Blax for letting me vent and for giving us a weekly forum for immature taeks on NFL calamities. Week 11 winners:

 

[vomits, curls up in pain holding knee]
You wanted me to comment about what now? –Game Time Decision

We’ve secretly replaced the Rams’ secondary with canisters of Folger’s Crystals wearing football pads. . . let’s see if anyone notices. –Downfield Matriculator

Coach, I know how to turn a dry rub into a wet rub –BrettFavresColonoscopy

The bottle is better at blocking than his o line –Game Time Decision

“Wow, those guys really know how to use their hands!” –Robert Kraft, shifting in his seat –BrettFavresColonoscopy

Curtis Samuel wowed the judges with his Touchdown Dance entitled ”JFK vs Dallas” –Duchess

The power of Jim Brown compels you! Sit Down! –ArmedandHammered

Beavers should be all about ax wounds not chainsaws. —SonOfSpam

/still laughing at “wet rub”

Happy Holidays, freeks!

 

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Don T
Don T
Poor choices, mixed results. ¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre! Titans4Eva
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ooooh, a twofer!

/checks bank account

Blax, this shit is getting expensive.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hopefully lurkers who have been around long enough know that they don’t have to be funny to be welcome. We’re always happy when people just say hello.

ballsofsteelandfury

And yes, I’m still laughing at “wet rub” too. I only wish that could be incorporated into a real life discussion.

ballsofsteelandfury

Holy shit Duchess!! Masterful job!

SonOfSpam

At least I’ll know someone there.

Game Time Decision

Hopefully we can all be at the same table