Hey all, hope you’re well and sticking to whatever resolutions you made. I plan to start to eat less crap and just less in general. We also started a new budgeting thingy, so want to continue with that as well, with the hopes of someday retiring with moar than a dollar or two to my name.
Looking at the calendar, it’s National Whipped Cream day, National Keto day and National Screenwriters day. Who they hell picks these things and why? Feels like those focus groups just took any and all suggestions and made them a day. Tho the whipped cream is not going to help with my eating less crap thing.
NFL Stuffs
##ThePauls aka Browns HC, some coaching staff and 2 players (so far) have tested positive for the ‘Rona. My favoUrite part of the article: “Our contingency planning calls for Special Teams Coordinator Mike Priefer to serve as the acting Head Coach.” Browns gonna Browns.
CMC will start doing less working out. Something most of us DFO’ers can understand.
WFT might rotate QB’s during the game if Smith isn’t ready to go. Like they have any other options.
What’s on
Men’s Baseketballs
Florida at Alabama ESPN2 at 6PM
TBA at TBA ESPNU at 6PM
Rutgers at Michigan St ESPN2 at 8PM
Memphis at UCF ESPNU at 8 PM
Men’s Jr Hockey
Bronze medal game: Finland vs Russia 430PM on TSN4
Gold medal game: Canada vs USA 0830 PM on TSN4
Couldn’t find an America listing for either, so check your local listings.
There’s some election thingy going on in Georgia today, so maybe hate watch the results show. Or not. On CNN and MSNBC (and probably other places too), officially starts at 6 PM, but really it’s all day and night.
We’re now through the holiday season and back to works and schools and stuffs, so don’t be shy and comment below. Many find this a hard time of year, so let’s entertain one another.
I just learned that I can see how many comments i have made on DFO and….I’m not sure how to feel about it.
Probably the same way I feel about Steam telling me how many hours of Civ 6 I’ve played
Wait, what? how do you do that? You are obviously internet-smarter than me.
I wouldn’t say I’m internet smarter than you, and I’m responsible for 2.2% of all DFO comments so maybe I should sit down for a little.
Update I have eaten both bagels (sesame), finished one drink, and am working on the second. Might have gotten a tiny bit of cream cheese on my suit pants, but to be honest I’ve been pushing bringing this suit to the cleaners long enough, it can be time if it wants.
I once heard someone trying to make an argument that bagels aren’t food, I did not find their argument particularly convincing
What did they categorize it as, a vessel to shove as much butter/cream cheese/lox in your mouth as socially acceptable? And then slightly more than that?
I think they were on the Atkin’s diet, so anything made primarily of carbs was the devil, and the devil is not food
What about devil’s food?
I guess if you are what you eat, and the devil eats devil’s food, then the devil IS food, and also a self-cannibal.
Well, Jesus is a crappy cracker and a sip of shitty wine to a lot of folks, so, why not?
“…and can you explain WHY you were wearing the pants in the first place?” – DFO accountants, questioning Senor Weaselo’s expense report
I hadn’t taken them off because I was still in the car?
I’m not following.
— K. Winslow
God damnit now I want a New York City bagel
Me, at 12:30, after a gig, and for various reasons I’ve barely eaten over the last couple days:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqwZLe-hNMU
I didn’t expect to feel this good tonight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5iW-PGAkYY
The US beat Canada in hockey? What is the world coming to?
There were irregularities in the goal tally. STOP THE STEAL!
STOP THE SAVES!
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!?!?!
No
If we don’t call Larry Summers’s bluff now and demand $10,000 stimulus checks and, well, fuck it, ongoing $1,000/month YangBucks until everyone is vaccinated (either/or. Hopefully that will light a fire under assholes like Cuomo, who should be the man of honor at the next auto-de-fe), then what the fuck is the point of having a Democratic Congress and President?
No fucking joke. This is literally the least they can do. If they don’t, then re-open the polls because I’d rather have Trump around than a bunch of motherfuckers like Pelosi, Schumer, and Biden, whose political ideology is Better Things Aren’t Possible.
I ended up not voting for president in November (I skipped a lot of contests and single-candidate “contests” this time around for the first time in my life), but these miserable pieces of shit are going to quickly make me regret not voting for Trump because if they’re going to tell us all to go fuck ourselves, the least I could’ve done in November was to tell them Fuck You right back.
Wow, this is one of the most selfish and entitled sentiments I’ve ever heard expressed.
*Outside of Twitter
Fuck you
You cannot do that. That’s a warning
Still you. Everything is Democrats’ fault no matter what, might as well go with the immoral nihilists actively destroying democracy.
https://twitter.com/deviousbisexual/status/1341372429336256514?s=19
https://twitter.com/aughtnom/status/1346680791581933572
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCbyzELbaTk
Clean sheet!
Remember, a two-goal lead is “the most dangerous lead in hockey,” so Canada has the U.S. right where they want them.
(That is one of the dumbest cliches in sports, and that’s really saying something.)
Why do all of USA’s enemies wear red?
“Of all the Canadian Jr hockey teams losing 2-0 after the second period in the Gold Medal Game, is this one the greatest?”
-question posed during intermission
“Canadians failing to score” was also the theme of my spring break trip in college.
Maybe it’s just the ether talking, but I think either of these teams could beat the pants off a certain Red professional team from Michigan.
Maybe it’s because I haven’t watched a lot of hockey in the last little while but the pace of this game is insane.
Probably all because there’s no trapezoid, mmm hmmm.
I would love to watch. I watched the opening game loss to Russia and haven’t put a game on since.
Does Canada have a kid named Connor McMichael on their team? We’re on to you, you filthy crooks, you think just changing David to Michael was gonna fool us?
D.C. police and Proud Boys are clashing tonight.
Suddenly my opposition to police brutality is wavering.
Yes, definitely on the side of cops, TONIGHT ONLY.
But yeah, go ahead and turn off those body cams.
“Welcome Aboard!”
-Situational Ethics
/I know you’re joking but I had to
Ossoff now a PROBABLY
What’s great is that I assume right wing media is not reporting the results with any context, so it’ll look like WE WIN WE WIN oh no we lost at the last second SHENANAGINS!!!
Karl Rove is standing by,
That was fucking DELICIOUS.
Balls, I’m even rooting for Kings prospects tonight.
Unbelievable! I guess you’re only anti-monarchical in theory. smgdh…
I wasn’t when they were paying me.
That goal had a large amount of luck behind it but the Canadians are on their heels.
Btw, I loved the announcer making the “You know what happens when you assume” reference!
The rout is on!
It’s only 2-0!
Is this the Georgia Senate thing?
Because there are only two races.
But yeah, looking 2-0 Blue Team
Just found a ‘lude that my guy left with me during his last visit, I’d completely forgotten about it. Guess I will be able to sleep tonight after all.
Why would a Honda Prelude help you sleep?
Have you really never driven one?
My current car is a 23 year old Accord.
I have also owned a Chevy Lumina.
Not a gearhead.
Oh my!
Mine was Forest Green.
PUSSYWAGON? YOU BET.
(It was a company car back in the 90s when companies did that, and I was able to buy it for a song. The song was “You Only Get What You Give” because it was the 90s.
My name is Buck, and I love to drive a truck.
Pretty boring car.
Nap on wheels
BILL BARR’S MINI-ME!!!!
Remember, election-watchers: no lead is safe when someone representing Atlanta is involved.
Excellent.
But let’s face it, Perdue and Loeffler ain’t exactly Brady. More like Dieter Brock.
Alright, I’ve had just about enough CFL-bashing this week!
Fuck em – can’t spell “Gray”
Call General Sherman to provide them with extra torches for … illumination.
Love how MSNBC won’t put the time on the screen.
Oh, wow. QUITE LIKELY Warnock now!!
Waiting for “FUCKING GONNA HAPPEN FUCK YEAH”
He was quite the betting favorite, and Ossoff (-110). This is as close as we’ll get in my lifetime.
This US/Canuck hockey tilt is intense and being played at full fookin’ speed. If you’re a sporty person that likes intensity and evenly-matched teams going all-out, this game is right up your alley.
/a funny
“Maybe Sylvia Plath was just really bad at baking…?”
THAT is funny.
NYT keeps leaning left – PROBABLY Warnock, LEANING Ossoff
Is this game happening so late because it’s taking place in one of Canada’s imaginary time zones, like the “Atlantic”?
The fuck is St Newfoundland-on-Labrador anyway? Like the “Houston Texans”
Sounds like doggie porn
They like it ruff.
Take that, hat!
STOP THE COUNT!
Just a reminder – Mitch McConnell can eat all the shit.
Well, he certainly has the grin for it.
/but probably NAWT 2nite
As of this moment-9:52 EST-the entire United of States is holding its collective breath. Why? The Canadian Jr hockey team is leading on shots on goal by 7-4.
I say we warm this globe up enough so those devious canucks lose their precious backyard frozen pond rinks.
If America wins this hockey game, I say we get to steal Canada’s national anthem and take it for our own. If they win, well, then we go back to ignoring hockey.
We get Vancouver and Toronto, they get both Dakotas.
And all 30 people that live there?
They could change Mt Rushmore to Gretzky + the 3 guys from Rush.
That would never happen. Too much oil in N Dakota.
NYT has upgraded from “Tilting Warnock” to “LEANING Warnock”
Ossoff still in “Tilt” status
What’s happening now:
4m ago
Republicans have taken a narrow lead in the tabulated vote, but the Democrats are clear favorites in both races for Senate. The overwhelming majority of remaining votes are in the Atlanta metro area, and while the race remains competitive, there’s no indication that the Republicans are poised to run more strongly than expected there.
Well things don’t look good for KKKarpet Bag Barbie
“TILTING? LEANING? BACK AND FORTH AND BACK AGAIN. I’M SO CONFUSED…”
-Don Quixote, Election/Windmill Reporter
Come on MSNBC all this talk about Male in voters what about the FEMALE voters this is 2021 get your act together. #feminism
Shoutout to my grocery store for including 2 strips of yellow peppers in their pre-made “Mixed Salad” offering. I know why you did it-the cost per pound was ridiculous and no one was buying it so it was sent to ‘the back of the room’ and re-purposed. Well done!
Yep. Perdue & Flounder. Should never have expected more from a disgusting electorate of racist mouth breathers. Sherman didn’t do enough.
TONS of Metro ATL still out:
Nate Cohn 2m ago
The race now leans toward the Democrats. There’s a long way to go and it’s close, but they have done better than they need across all vote methods and in all regions.
A ton of votes from Indiana is only two voters
“We have to recount this batch as it’s covered in gravy”
Yeah, I know the cockbites took the lead, but what’s left is pretty blue.
Ok, i think I’m ready for 2022
Man, I can’t wait for the assloads of progress we’re going to get now thanks to Georgia.
Someone’s been hate-scrolling Twitter again…
Holy shit it’s only Tuesday.
People on my street are already putting out their garbage (normally goes out on Wed). It’s weird.
I maintain that this week is the longest in human history.
Will we live in the USA at the end of January? Or Somalia?
Do we get a choice?
Well, I don’t. At my age, I am in no condition to take up arms.
I’m leaning towards the view that 2020 doesn’t really end until at least January 20.
It must still be 2020, can already sense that I will be up all night because of a goddamned election
And you probably won’t know the results tonight…
There’s not going to be a definitive answer tonight; just tune out until tomorrow.
Should I? Yes. Will I? No.
Goddamn, that’s depressing.
If your election lasts more than four hours, call Steve Kornacki.
ESPN could do a “20 for 20” series on sports during the pandemic.
“Hush, hush, it was my only hit. Well, ‘Love in a Vacuum’ is out there as well. Ah fuck it, it sucked.”
-Aimee Mann
I’ll give you a hint as to what time it is in Helsinki right now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDsCeC6f0zc&ab_channel=KLF
World Junior Hockey gold medal game is on the NHL channel in the U.S.
Weirdly, though, my channel guide has it at 6:30 pm PDT — either that’s an error, or they’re showing it on tape delay?
they don’t trust y’all Canucks not to riot in excitement (smh)
I’m here in real spacetime and it’s on in 84 minutes from now.
Oh, I’m guessing that the TSN start time is for a one-hour pregame show?
I’m not going to tell you you’re correct, but I will tell you that right now some hockeyheads are debating where this team (IF IT WINS THIS GAME THAT HASN’T HAPPENED YET) should be placed among the greatest Canadian World Junior Teams of all time.
How would they fare in an 8-game series against a team composed solely of Guy LaFleur and King Clancy clones?
Speaking of, Clancy waved to a group of us schoolkids back in 1976(?) while myself and my classmates were taking a tour of the Maple Leaf Gardens. We later ended up at the merchandise store and I bought a stick “autographed” by Alexander Yakushev. It was a really good stick.
When I saw the name Clancy, I thought of this guy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bOKsOveYD0
There’s a pregame show here, too. But at least it was labelled as such, whereas TSN’s site pretends that the actual game starts now. That’s fucking lame.
I do hate that bullshit and TSN does it all the time.
This X1000
Congrats to TheVante Smith and that sharp-ass jacket. Deserving winner.
Absolutely uncoverable.
And good luck in, let’s say…Detroit? Maybe Philly.
He won’t get past Cincy at #5.
Burrow throwing to TheVante and Mr. T Higgins? Damn, that would be kinda cool.
Hopefully Cincy drafts nothing but o-lineman and fullbacks the rest of the way.
found a funny:
fall out boy: a loaded god complex cock it and pull it
me: [eleven years old] wow so true
“Good songs by terrible bands” would be a fun Request Line topic.
The NHL sold naming rights to the four temporary (?) divisions for the upcoming season. I suspect we wont be hearing from the Canadian Countingent around here for a while on account of the rioting over Tim Horton’s not getting one of the sponsorships.
Presented without comment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBuX-yiTOec&ab_channel=SPORTSNET
Hey that Erik Karlsson guy is pretty good…
“Wait till Ottawa gets a load of me.”
-Tim Stutzle
“Jr. hockey-wise, the Finns are up on the Russians. Been there. Done that.”
-Simo Hayha, sports reporter
That dude killed people MUCH better than you no offence.
“It’s a never-ending argument-does one value the quality of the work done or the sheer volume? Does it count if it was done in a wartime format? We’re always going to argue about this.”
-Voter, The Serial Killer Hall of Fame
If he didn’t kill you with his rifle, he would scare you to death with his surgery scars. Poor guy, but I guess he dealt with it. 97 years old when he shuffled off this mortal coil.
Alex Morgan has the #NuAIDS. I am happy to mentor my new Eskimo Sister in her time of trial.
Does she need an extremely rapid test? That’s my specialty.
“This test is oral. Close your eyes. It will neither hurt nor take long.”
I feel like everyone turning up in this open thread should be obligated to make at least one Quotables submission before commenting here.
Done.
I have just been “swing and a miss” in Quotables, all damned season. I just can’t get it right.
Yeah, I just haven’t been feeling it.
You say that know, but six jokes later you’re going to wish I just closed the browser.
I’m a little sad that the losses to the Jets failed to keep the Browns *or* the Rams out of the playoffs.
[looks at pic above]
“I’ll be in my bunk.”
-rockingdog
Its still warm
Someplace in Kansas City should make a 9 lbs. corn dog called the “St. Bernard” and market it specifically to Andy Reid.