Your AFC North Wildcard Playoff Game Open Thread

Didn’t these squadoos just partake of one another a week ago? Anyway, should you wish to know just how badly Cleveland is screwed going into this tilt, read below.

TO THE GAME!

Browns/Steelers:

-I still can’t wrap the old bean around the fact that Cleveland is 11-5 and not 8-8 or so and barely scraping into this game. Well, the last part is correct, but still.

-Coach Stefanski is down and out so Alex Van Pelt will get the play-calling duties. This actually could turn into an advantage if the guy isn’t way in over his head. He should have slightly different tendencies than the boss. The honor of prowling the sidelines goes to some special teams co-ordinator fella by the name of Priefer. What does I know about him? He hates headphones and he coached a game for the Vikes back in 2016 when Zimmer had emergency surgery.

-Ben’s short passing game should be enough to get by this week but doesn’t bode well for next round. If he has toss longer throws beyond 10 yards he’s just as effective as the likes of Lock and Minshew. Ewww.

-Ordinarily the Steelers d-line would tear the opposing unit to shreds with blitz packages and such but this Browns o-line is among the very best in the league, equally adept at both run and pass blocking.

-They will be missing Pro Bowler Joel Bitonio as well as their best cb, their 2nd-best cb and possibly their 3rd-best cb. Also not playing is their 2nd-best pass rusher. “Hey Browns, congrats on making the playoffs, now just attach these 10 pound dumbbells to each of your ankles and away you go!. GOOD LUCK!”

-If there is prayer for Cleveland it would appear to lie in the run game. If they can control time of possession and field position (as the Colts did yesterday) they can make this their game.

-It would actually be better for the league if the deeply-flawed Steelers would go down tonight instead of next week. That way a national audience could see a Browns team that isn’t missing a huge number of its moving parts.

Say hello below.

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bk109

Seconds from disaster – utree edition:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPmdGW97WrQ (twas better live, tho)

Don T

No Nickelodeon this time. How about the Golf channel?
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Don T

Tampa gets an extra day of rest. Good news for the Brady molting cycle.

Don T

I wouldn’t mind Mason Rudolph getting the starting job. He fills Ben’s shoes, the “Hope he gets sacked 30 times” shoes,

Don T

I mean, we still piling on, rite?

Mr. Ayo

It will take a lot of piling to cover that mess. So yes.

Senor Weaselo

“You better bullee we’re pilling on.” -K. Hippo

bk109

Now, now.. Don’T’ya think that if the shituation was reversed the … oh,wait … it’s the Yinzers… I think it’s again time to
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Last edited 8 days ago by bk109
Don T

Roethlisberger retirement plan
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Beerguyrob

Someone please gif sad Ben. It’s all I need from this season.

Mr. Ayo
Redshirt

“Somedays you’re the guy shoving them into the bathroom stall, somedays you’re the one being shoved into the bathroom stall.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Someone can just photoshop his face on to the Sad Keanu meme.

Last edited 8 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Redshirt

My only regret was that this season happened with no fans. I would’ve loved to watch Heinz Field revolt on the Steelers like the GOP and most of his followers revolting on the Orange Dingleberry.

Recovery Whiskey

They would have rushed the field demanding a recount

Viva La Tabula Raza

And killed the stadium security guards by beating them to death with fire extinguishers.

Senor Weaselo

I mean, they’re shocked that the Browns managed to #StopTheSteel

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s fooking brilliant.

bk109

Or drag Petey Carroll to ask the important question – “Does steamin’ hot Browns melt Stillerz beams?!”

Viva La Tabula Raza

the GOP and most of his followers revolting on the Orange Dingleberry
I really doubt that “most” of his followers are revolting on the Orange Dingleberry, but I agree that they are fucking revolting.

Redshirt

Some are because he admitted Biden will be the next President. Some aren’t because they are grasping at straws.

I’d post a link, but we don’t need both our computers on a FBI Suspected MAGA Terrorist Watchlist.

Last edited 8 days ago by Redshirt
Viva La Tabula Raza

Especially me, because I am on a Dept of Defense computer….

Brick Meathook

Don’t you own your own computer? A laptop or a tablet even? You seem to be employed and they aren’t that expensive.

Recovery Whiskey

Ben crying like someone that remembered being assaulted in a bar bathroom years later

TheRevanchist

Next week, I hope my team bitchslaps the fuck out of Mayfield. Fuck that guy.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Of the six games this weekend, this is the only one that really ended satisfactorily for me. Didn’t give a fuck really about the other games, though I would have liked to see TEN prevail over the Randall Flaggs. I always root for the underdog, unless they are playing MY team, who didn’t even make the playoffs this year, to many DFOer’s satisfaction.
I hope the Browns win the fucking Super Bowl.

Last edited 8 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Redshirt

If they get past KC, they might. Part of this game with Big Ben and the Steelers laying an egg. I don’t think the Chefs will do that.

Viva La Tabula Raza

But KC could become complacent and overconfident. That’s my hope.

Doktor Zymm

Lookit Baker trying to remember his talking points

WCS

On the plus side, Mike Polk, Jr. is going to be hilarious tomorrow.

Gumbygirl

Rapist needs to retire tonight, but it won’t happen.

Doktor Zymm

Dye the river Brown and orange again!comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza
Recovery Whiskey

Pittsburgh was told this day would never happen

WCS

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Dunstan

“What’s going through [Ben’s] mind?”

Tumbleweeds, Al. Tumbleweeds.

Mr. Ayo

Records!

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Brocky

i remember a “lolnfl” image from the old site:

ben sitting out the game, appears to have Ipod, and in big white text its the lyrics to “ballwithaball”

i miss lol NFL, stupid as it was

Sharkbait

Scorigami!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Clevelanders burning down the river tonight!

Redshirt

Has a QB ever thrown for 4 TD and 4 INTs?

Mr. Ayo

Statgami?

Senor Weaselo

Jameis?

Senor Weaselo

And now, takes from Senor’s gig:
“Come on, it’s been an hour and a half, why aren’t they out yet? It doesn’t take that long to consummate the marriage, it’s their first time, it doesn’t last that long.”

Redshirt

If Pittsburgh wins this, its proof that God is a Steelers fan and/or hates Cleveland.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Pittsburgh didn’t pull it off, but I bet God still hates Cleveland.

Last edited 8 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Doktor Zymm

If Pitt somehow pulls this off, the entire rust belt will run out of booze tonight

Recovery Whiskey

Its not like that many of them need to get to jobs tomorrow

Viva La Tabula Raza

Isn’t Cleveland a part of the Rust Belt as well?

Redshirt

It is.

Doktor Zymm

Indeed, but I assume they’re well versed in sad sports drinking, not sure about happy sports drinking

Doktor Zymm

Although we will now find out!

Recovery Whiskey

Progressive Insurance HQ. Some other big office. Rust Belt kicks in around Akron.

Brocky

was there an injured brown’s player?

Redshirt

Wild Card – New England Patriots at Cleveland Browns – January 1st, 1995 | Pro-Football-Reference.com (pro-football-reference.com)

Everyone make a note of this game. Either its going to fall into history or drunken, despondent Browns will be looking at it while crying.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I have hated the Cowboys since the late 1960s. I have hated the Steelers since the mid-1970s. Tonight is a good night for my second-longest hatred.

Senor Weaselo

Lofty hate.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Cultivated for over a half-century. Come at me!

Brocky

bens arm is just gonna fall off at some point

Last edited 8 days ago by Brocky
Doktor Zymm

Given the vascular problems that would lead to a grey dick, that might not be the only appendage

Viva La Tabula Raza

He needs to look into acupuncture.

Recovery Whiskey

Pittsburgh’s strategy all season was just have Ben keep forcing it.

King Hippo

48-29 is Scorinami??

Sharkbait

Need a Steelers TD to make it 48-36

King Hippo

they are Philistines, going for two

Dunstan

48-37 works too!

Recovery Whiskey

Someone dig up Art Modell so Cleveland can piss on his reanimated corpse

Viva La Tabula Raza

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