Your “There’s More Than One Mike To Be Like” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

NFL Nuggets:

  • Let’s check in on guys named Mike:
    • Mike Tomlin has the COVID.
      • It comes on the heels of some assistants testing positive last week.
      • And FINALLY we found an excuse for the Yinzer faithful, whose reaction the Fritz Pollard Alliance will no doubt be watching.
    • Mike Iupati is retiring, no doubt increasing pressure on Seattle to keep Russ happy.
      • He spent 11 years in the league, splitting time with the Niners, Cardinals & Seahawks.
        • He played in 140 games & made four Pro Bowls.
      • Chronic neck pain is what finally did him in.
        • “My body was telling me it was time to close the door.”
    • Colts WR Michael Pittman doesn’t want to sell his #11 to new teammate Carson Wentz.
      • Wentz has worn the same number since college, but that held no sway.
        • “I don’t think there’s any deal that is gonna be done.”
      • He said Wentz said it was cool, and will choose a new number to reflect his fresh start with a new team.
  • For those of you, like me, who love “That’s My Raiders!“, a future episode was generated in Houston on the weekend.
    • Former undrafted Seahawk & current futures contract signee Kemah Siverand was arrested in Houston for street racing. 
      • According to police reports, Siverand initially stopped for officers, but then drove another mile before making a final stop.
      • He’s been charged with felony evading arrest and two others were charged with racing on the highway.
    • You may remember his name because he was the genius that tried to sneak a woman into the Seahawks team hotel during training camp last season.

Really, this guy could be a whole month on his own.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Los Angeles vs St. Louis 8:00pm NHLN
    • Vegas vs Colorado – 9:00pm | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Portland vs Phoenix – 9:00pm | TSN2
    • Washington vs LA Lakers – 10:00pm | NBATV / Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • Syracuse at Duke – 7:00pm | ESPN / TSN2
    • Texas Tech at Oklahoma State – 9:00pm | ESPN
    • Oregon at USC – 9:00pm | FS1
  • Wrasslin’:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • “The Road To Wrestlemania” continues, with The Miz as new Raw Champion & looking for a dance partner.
  • Curling:
    • Scotties Tournament of Hearts – 8:30PM | TSN

I half-wanted to turn tonight into a Raw Open Thread, but I don’t have the energy to break down WWE programming. (Maury is easier to follow, and has conclusions.) Plus, if I return to work next week as expected, I work during the first two hous & wouldn’t be able to participate. So, nuts to that.

Don’t forget that tomorrow night is “Temptation Tuesday” at [DFO]. Tune in for all the drama & despair as pretty people discover how shallow they all are.

5 3 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
92 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Brick Meathook

I drink about one soda pop per year. Yesterday I drank this 7-Up:

comment image

Brick Meathook

and then I had a root beer:

comment image

Brick Meathook

Later I had a cream soda, which I hadn’t had since I was ten years old. It was pretty good:

comment image

Brick Meathook

Then I had a Mexican Coke, with cane sugar. Note that everything is served in glass containers:

comment image

Brick Meathook

That’s four years worth of soda pop in 24 hours! Oh well, might as well have a homemade strawberry shake with fresh strawberries, real strawberry ice cream, malted milk, sugar, real vanilla extract, and whole milk. Why not.

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Update now that the pizza’s getting packed away: IT WAS A FULL PIE. FUCK YOU, COSMOS.

Don T

Come for the beat, stay for the 73 David Bowie references
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RbOxfT_ZQ6Y

ballsofsteelandfury

Hi kids! Looks like I missed a hell of a day at DFO!

BTW, I stole Leela and Danger Island Pam in the cartoon draft.

How did y’all miss those two???

SonOfSpam

There were plenty of picks available with multiple eyes.

I only made two picks…did anyone ever take Aeon Flux?

Doktor Zymm

I’m impressed at the number of comments on the draft post. Also, seems it doesn’t matter that I wasn’t around this morning since y’all were drafting women

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Plenty of meat on the board for you

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Gumbygirl

I think it goes without saying that we would pick Batman. I mean, come on, smoldering angsty rich dude in black, what’s better than that?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Chief Mullen: Maybe he’s become some vigilante.
Raylan: Hmmm, maybe he’s Batman.

Redshirt

If you want to end your Monday with a laugh, NFLN is airing the Falcons collapse against the Cowboys and they haven’t gotten to the event horizon yet.

Last edited 14 days ago by Redshirt
Senor Weaselo

Well lizard people, the good times are over. I have to watch my diet for the next month due to fatty liver, so no alcohol (not that I was drinking much).

And I’ve turned down (free) pizza and chocolate.

Please just give me the ol’ Kremlin suicide. (Better me than Panarin, right?)

King Hippo

Da, comrade!

Doktor Zymm

Stupid liver, be sure to give it a poor performance review and you can be sure it won’t be getting promoted any time soon

SonOfSpam

Dammit. Please stay healthy. Don’t wanna change your name from Senor Weaselo to Sir Osis.

Redshirt

Check out the Lean Cuisine pizzas and the Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwiches. Its diet food, but not that bad and its helped me lose 13 pounds and counting and to keep the bad voices away.

Senor Weaselo

The Lean Cuisine pizzas are legit, no issues there.

SonOfSpam

Also will cosign on the Skinny Cow products, even though I only resemble half the brand name.

Sharkbait

Stay healthy friend. You need to be able to hit speakeasy bars!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Suuuuucks. My liver isn’t as fatty as the rest of me….yet.

Don T

Methinks your test was handled by Lent Reference Laboratories

Sharkbait

Its a French whisky kind of night tonight

SonOfSpam

Calling it “Jacque Danielle” does not make it fancy and imported.

Redshirt

angry closes Profile Name Change Page filled out for La Chemise de Rouge

clint greasewood

Fun French Fact:France drinks the most whisky per capita in the world, and French drinkers even drink more whisky than they do Champagne or Cognac with an average of 2.15 liters of whisky consumed per person per year.

Last edited 14 days ago by clint greasewood
Brick Meathook

2.15 liters per person per year?

Shit, before I quit drinking I consumed 2.15 liters of whisky per week every week.

I was a pro.

Doktor Zymm

Averages suck, there’s gonna be a bunch of teetotallers and non-drinking babies and such in there pulling the average down.

Redshirt

(sees ad for Punky Brewster)
comment image

litre_cola

They will not stop up here. I want to stab myself in the stomach with a rusty screwdriver every fucking time I see it.

Redshirt

Yeah, and it doesn’t help that Soleil Moon Frye is hot. I got a ton of issues and wanting to nail Punky Brewster doesn’t help at all.

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

The rules clearly state that a character’s age during the show is what counts, not his or her current a…

Oh, shit, sorry. Wrong thread.

Brick Meathook

Dang that draft was pretty lawyered-up. I’m still banging Trixie.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

I may be misremembering, but I seem to recall that when I was a kid both Lincoln’s Birthday (12th) and Washington’s were celebrated separately and we had two days off in February.

Last edited 14 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
SonOfSpam

I think we had those off in grade school, plus going to a Catholic school got us random Saint days off. Downside? Uniforms, including navy blue corduroys every damn day, and clergy rape (we being the recipients)

Viva La Tabula Raza

Plus, whacks on knuckles with rulers?
According to the wiki, Lincoln’s was never a Fed holiday, but was a holiday in various states. So I must have lived in one of those states.

SonOfSpam

Nuns were the minority of teachers in my school. Plus any corporal punishment woulda been met with a visit from my mom, who was quite protective. “Only I may hit my kids!”

Redshirt

So, your choice was Public Schools that didn’t care to get involved with their students, or Catholic School that got TOO involved.

I think I just cracked why the subsequent generations keep getting shittier and shittier.

Last edited 14 days ago by Redshirt
SonOfSpam

Once we became parents, the choice was remarkably easy.

“So you’re saying the tuition at St. Joseph is $8000?”
“Yes, per semester.”
“I see. And if we take her to the public school much closer to home?”
“There would be no tuition.”
“So, why would…”
“Also, our teachers do not necessarily have teaching credentials.”
“Right, and…”
“”Of course, we’ll need to know which parish you attend and how much you tithe.”
“Well, this is a tough call, but fuck you forever and have a nice day.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder if it was so outrageously expensive when your parents sent you there.

SonOfSpam

No, not even considering inflation.

Redshirt

When I went to school two decades ago, the initial tuition was $3,500 a quarter. When I left, it was about $5,000. Now its…$11,520?! If I’m spending $138K on a college education, I should finish with the right to have letters after my name.

Last edited 14 days ago by Redshirt
Horatio Cornblower

When I was a kid I went to Catholic grade school, then high school, and somehow managed not to get raped, probably by being hideously ugly.

That aside I think my mother told me that grade school was $800 a year for parish members, and the high school might have topped out at $3K before I left.

The grade school has closed due to lack of enrollment, which being based in a failing manufacturing town will do to you, but the high school is thriving. A couple of friends of mine have sent their kids there, and I understand that you are now looking at $15,000+ a year, once all the fees and costs are included.

Horatio Cornblower

I also looked up UConn Law’s current tuition when debating my wife about student loan forgiveness. When I graduated in ’94 I recall tuition being about $12K-$13K, although I can’t find anything definite on that. It is currently $33K in-state, and while I do not want to shit on my degree anymore than I already do just be continuing to practice law, I can promise you that UConn has done nothing to justify a nearly 300% increase during the last 26 years.

Dunstan

I always get a good laugh when not-particularly-religious parents send their young kids to a religious school “because it’s just a good school!” and are then surprised when Junior comes home talking about his good pal Jesus Christ and insisting they say grace before dinner.

Like, what did you think was going to happen?

Brick Meathook

I went to Catholic school and particularly in high school I got a very solid education and the religious part was more theology and philosophy than it was indoctrination. Like the George Carlin routine, they taught us how to question things and subsequently most of us lost the faith. I’m still religious but follow no particular team, and I respect it when it’s done properly. I detest the phonies and the circuses that organized religion always has attracted. I didn’t like the ass-raping either; I mean sure once in a while is okay but lines have to be drawn here.

Gumbygirl

I went to the only Catholic school I ‘ve ever heard of that did not have uniforms. But yes, both Presidents Days off and some Holy Days of Obligation.

Redshirt

I see CW is doing “Superman & Lois: The New Adventures of Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman”.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder if Superman is going to need Viagra when he gets older.

Redshirt

I’m just glad we have a Superman that’s not a Donald Trump supporter.

(checks Wikipedia page)

…I hope.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, he did fuck up a lot of Nazis back during The Big One.

SonOfSpam

All our best superheroes support Trump.

Like Hercules, um…Chachi…

Brick Meathook

The real strawberry malted milkshake: it’s what’s for dinner tonight:

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

*blood sugar reading jumps 100 points just from looking*

Brick Meathook

I’m going to make one of these while I’m slow cooking a sauerbraten that has been marinating for eight days.

Also, lately I’ve really been into fresh pineapple.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it Friday yet?

rockingdog

found a funny:

ME: Hello 911 a pit bull has attacked me and I think I’m bleeding out!

911: I can’t understand what you’re saying, sir…

ME (sighing): A heckin doggo has done me a lil chomp, 12/10 such strong pupper—

Viva La Tabula Raza

Been seeing this ad a lot for cat food:

Lady reading with cat sitting at her shoulder.
Child (off camera): Mom, I fell down.
Lady: Get a bandage.
Child: I’m bleeding.
Lady: Get two. *feeds cat*

Someone needs to call Child Protective Services on that bitch.

Last edited 14 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
SonOfSpam

I’d understand if it was a dog.

Redshirt

(sees Riddle for the first time ever)

“1995 WWF called: they want one of their gimmicks back.”

Joliet Jake Delhomme

Britt Baker and Nyla Rose on Wednesday to advance to the finals. Now we are showing matches on Bleacher Report. Thunder Rosa vs Riho on Sunday. They couldn’t find an open time on The Nashville Network? And a six person tag match? Good to see Veny get more TV time.

Redshirt

WWE may be the only sports entity that is screwed when COVID is over and the fans come back. They won’t be able to pipe in the pops/heats and dictates who is the faces/heels and who is over or not.

Redshirt

If Super Bowls can only happens in warm weather cities or domes, than WrestleMania can only happen in Philly, NYC, Chicago or Canada.

Viva La Tabula Raza

OT:
Per BGR’s suggestion last night, I’ll be sending him the word version of my travel post sometime later this week. I’m currently going back and fluffing it up (phrasing) with some details that are slowly burbling to the surface of my memory. I think the idea of travel posts during the slower sports period upcoming might be pretty interesting. Near as I can make out, a lot of the DFOers have travelled extensively, and I for one would find it fascinating to put some virtual pins in the map. Not sure how it could be strategically done so that everyone that would like to can eventually participate rather than having a single post that quickly goes down the memory hole.

Per bk109’s suggestion, I looked up the McGregor/Boorman Long Way Up/Down/Round series; they sound awesome, but they’re not currently available to stream in the states. Probably has something to do contractually with the presence of McGregor? However, Boorman has a number of series of motorcycle adventure documentaries (across Canada, across the US, across South Africa, Dakar Rallye) that ARE available, so I will be going down that wormhole over the next few weeks/months.

Last edited 14 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Joliet Jake Delhomme

As an writer who can’t ever stop editing, please feel free to stop editing at any time. I manage to make myself crazy every Wednesday afternoon.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not really editing per se, just adding experiences that I feel might be interesting as they come to the surface. But you’re right…

Joliet Jake Delhomme

Okay, maybe a little over heely.

Redshirt

Well, 99.99% of the time. The other 0.01% gets you four years as POTUS.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I figured that’s probably the way all sports team owners feel about minorities and foreigners.

Last edited 14 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Joliet Jake Delhomme

And Britt Baker with the classic heel move. Attack before the bell.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

Ryo Mizunami for the win against Aja Kong

Viva La Tabula Raza

Going down through the comments below, feels like a DFO Wednesday night in here. Unfortunately, it’s only Monday.

Last edited 14 days ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Redshirt

The temperature finally above freezing, I can walk outside jacketless without going into the early stages of Hypothermia and I’ve seen green grass for the first time in weeks. It definitely doesn’t feel like a Monday.

Oh, sorry Texas. I’m sure you guys will end your stay on Hoth and rejoin us in 21st Century Earth any week now.

Last edited 14 days ago by Redshirt
Viva La Tabula Raza

Mid 70s here in Central Texas today. Had to turn on the AC for a couple of hours.
Got my light bill via email today, $232, about average. Not sure if it covers last week, though. Can’t be bothered to sign up for their SmartHub at this time to get the details.

Redshirt

That’s good. I’m all for Texas getting a freeze every now and then just to keep you guys honest, but not as long as its knocks you back to the 19th Century.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

It’s either the title eliminator or back to the Scotties.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

Anna Jay injured her shoulder during warmups before today’s show. She will be out for 6-12 months with (what I have heard is) a torn labrum.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

Not sure of the actual timeline. She did tear her labrum and will be out for 6-12 months.

Redshirt

(reads results from last night’s WWE PPV)

“Great! They gave Miz a title run! He was so due and is so worthy of a title run, even if its just until WrestleMania. Oh, look there is rumors for WWE’s WrestleMania plans for Miz and the title…”

Truth about the Talking Cat – Rick and Morty – YouTube

Joliet Jake Delhomme

Emi Sakura vs Yuka Sakazakicomment image
comment image

Joliet Jake Delhomme

Yuka for the win.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

And Nyla Rose for the win.

Joliet Jake Delhomme

comment image

Joliet Jake Delhomme

comment image

Joliet Jake Delhomme

And the AEW Women’s Elimination Tournament continues. We begin with Tay Conti vs Nyla Rose. Two first round US matches and Japan semifinals.