Good morning everyone. Welcome back. I'm going to be throwing a curve ball at the standard Sunday Gravy format for the next few weeks but I think it will be worthwhile regardless. I'm curious to find out how many of you are familiar with that odd R2D2 looking motherfucker in the banner pic. Are
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Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 14, 2023 Season
Oh, it was a rainy Sunday on the East Coast, including at the HippoLair. I tried to nap, truly. As with most things in life, I failed spectacualrly. Still, one quartered back overcame the early window elements to go over 300 yards in a dominant win. Of course, that man is
Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 12, 2023 Season
Oh man, it just hit me - does a SeaTruther loss in Week TWAAAALLLLLVVVE hurt worse? Like time and a half? But that was Thursday's mess, let us talk of SUNDAY. The early schedule looked a bit shit, and boy howdy did it ever live up to the hype. Light a candle
Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 8, 2023 Season
Streaks broken, vengeance earned, bullshit luckiness collisions, ded footballers everywhere. Let's dive right in! Death #1 came in the Meadowlands, where the "visiting" Jest collided with the Vertically Enhanced Persons foj Jersey supremacy. Unsurprisingly, it was a prize that neither seemed to want. But would they draw? Noooooo. Tyrod Taylor got
Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 7, 2023 Season
Look, it's not like I see everything being ok in the world just because the Donks (WOO!!) finally won a FITBAW match. No, it's because (i) Donks won; (ii) U*NC lost to 1-5 Wahoowa AT HOME; and (iii) NC State didn't play. Plus, I don't have to worry about my Loser
Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 6, 2023 Season
Well, looky-loo. We have waded one-third of the way through the regular season. With one turd of a Week 6 slate. Closing out this year's London series, you had Ratbirds and Tits - seemingly a pretty interesting matchup. You know, on paper. In reality, Balmer ran out to an 18-3 halftime lead,
Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 2, 2023 Season
Some weeks, one just wonders how the universe will make everything worse. That's not to say that one doesn't EXPECT everything to get worse. Believe me, that much is assured. But thanks a lot, fat fuck Sean Payton, and head-hunting fuckwit Kareem Jackson. Inspiring a come-from-ahead loss at home. After leading
Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 15, 2022 Season
I hope everyone enjoyed their fill of weekend bananacakes. Let's hope the Lord saved some for January! Earlier in the week, I thought to myself that the early window looked kind of meek. A good reminder of why you should never take anything I think or say seriously, as the action
Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 9, 2022 Season
Deep sigh with the realization that we are now MOAR than halfway through the regular season. Nothing gold can stay, Pony Boy. Q-aaron sure served up some delicious Schadenfreude, though. Not one, not two, but THREE pickerceptions (two in the redzone) against the worst goddamned defense in the NFL. Apparently, his
Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 8, 2022
Hippo and Other Hippo wish a Happy Halloween to our myriad child-age readers, as well as y'all over-enthusiastic adults. Git off-a mah lawn. I don't think anyone will lament over a lack of scoring or fantasy stardom THIS week. I mean, except That's Rikki's Raiders! - travelling to the Bayou and coming back
Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 3, 2022 Season
The first two weeks of an NFL season always seem kind of random to me (even if 2022 has taken that to a way higher level), but Week 3 has always been nut-cutting time. The 0-2 can get off the mat, the "Week 1 winners that go 1-2" (ahem, cough...Commies)
Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 1, 2022 Season
Holy mother of fuck, do I ever love football. Even if this most glorious 9/11 opening slate broke my brain. Which it most certainly did. You say YOUR brain is still functional, and useable for billable work? FUCKING LIAR. January was quite the roller coaster for Cincinnati. But even coming in