Whither Thou, Lamar?

I need Lamar to prove himself. Yes, I'm that fan. Yes I love him. Yes I was overjoyed at last season. Then the motherfucking Titans came to Baltimore and blasted them right off the field. Partly because they figured out how to contain Lamar. So Lamar is the toast of the NFL,

Idiots Who Play with White Balls

The last time my father hit me was on a golf course. He is built like a tank and is left handed. For a man of his build he is lightning fast. We were sitting in a golf cart after I had thrown a club about thirty feet and declared that

The Murder List: You Cannot Escape

"Let them hate, as long as they fear." Buckle up America, you're gonna hate and fear me after this fucking diatribe has been penned. News flash: I could give a shit. Like Frank Constanza said, "I got a lot of problems with you people, now you're gonna hear about it." Politics I am apolitical and

Quarantine Games for Kids

I have three sons who are locked down and they have exhausted every single option. You can only play so much full contact backyard basketball. My wife is at her wits end, I am running low on bourbon, so I'm deep into a bowl of downers from my college days. In order

Growing Old and Why it Sucks

It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be a fucking author with a few decent books under my belt. And writing for some heavy duty publications. Maybe nursing a decent drinking problem and knocking back drugs: hallucinogens, weed, possibly a drop or two of speed. Yes, I wanted

The Great Fozz Migration: Part I. Stress is My Master

My wife and I have been married for 18 years. For 17 of those we lived in the same townhouse. Entropy sucks. We were going to move several times, but the vagaries of the economy and my attitude, which resulted in getting canned and fucking up our income, prevented us

Ravens Bye Week

So we enter into the 8th week of the NFL season and the Ravens are...I'm not too sure of what we are. Lamar Jackson's an MVP! No, he's a running back! No, he needs to learn how to pass! Good Christ I'm fucking tired of how every second of every day