I need Lamar to prove himself. Yes, I'm that fan. Yes I love him. Yes I was overjoyed at last season.
Then the motherfucking Titans came to Baltimore and blasted them right off the field. Partly because they figured out how to contain Lamar.
So Lamar is the toast of the NFL,
The last time my father hit me was on a golf course.
He is built like a tank and is left handed. For a man of his build he is lightning fast. We were sitting in a golf cart after I had thrown a club about thirty feet and declared that
"Let them hate, as long as they fear."
Buckle up America, you're gonna hate and fear me after this fucking diatribe has been penned.
News flash: I could give a shit.
Like Frank Constanza said, "I got a lot of problems with you people, now you're gonna hear about it."
I am apolitical and
I have three sons who are locked down and they have exhausted every single option. You can only play so much full contact backyard basketball.
My wife is at her wits end, I am running low on bourbon, so I'm deep into a bowl of downers from my college days.
About a year ago, a dumb shit friend backed into my car and screwed up the bumper and hood. He didn’t want to report because his son was getting on his insurance. Fine. No problem.
So this guy, we’ll call him “Dumb Fuck Jeep Driver,” sends me to this body shop.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
I was supposed to be a fucking author with a few decent books under my belt. And writing for some heavy duty publications. Maybe nursing a decent drinking problem and knocking back drugs: hallucinogens, weed, possibly a drop or two of speed.
Yes, I wanted
Before I begin the tearing open of this newly made wound, let me say a few things.
1. I thought this game would be tough, I didn't see the Titans fucking winning.
2. I though our loss to the Colts in a divisional game was tough. No fucking way.
3. SHIT FUCK DAMN
So we moved. That was a horrible experience, although our movers were fucking awesome. The guy's name was Frosty. So of course, you say, "Where did you get that nickname?"
And he says, "Well, I used to be 100 pounds heavier and all my friends said I looked like the black
My wife and I have been married for 18 years. For 17 of those we lived in the same townhouse. Entropy sucks. We were going to move several times, but the vagaries of the economy and my attitude, which resulted in getting canned and fucking up our income, prevented us
So we enter into the 8th week of the NFL season and the Ravens are...I'm not too sure of what we are.
Lamar Jackson's an MVP! No, he's a running back! No, he needs to learn how to pass! Good Christ I'm fucking tired of how every second of every day
God save the queen
'Cause tourists are money
And our figurehead
Is not what she seems
Yeah, Sid Vicious - that doomed idiot - had it right. So did Johnny Rotten. So did a bunch of ragtag inbred hillbillies who decided, “Fuck the British we want to be free so we can own slaves,
Twenty years ago I bought my PSL for the Ravens. After i wrote the check I had $100 in my bank account, but having been brought up on football, and starving for the same, I was all in.
This year I didn’t renew my tickets because I’m sick and motherfucking tired