Breaking News: Wakezilla signs with the Miami Dolphins! (Your Miami Dolphins Preview)

/Scene begins in a press conference room in Miami. The media are already seated when a dopey looking guy walks up to the podium. Dopey guy begins to speak in a deep, but hoarse voice: Hello everyone, welcome to today's press conference of September 7th, 2020. As you know, we have

Your July 26 Lesser Footy Open Thread: It’s Decision Day!

Welcome to Decision Day! With the exception of one game, every match has positional repercussions. Most importantly, the Top 4 and relegation are all on the line today! What sucks is that the league should have tried and flexed the games around so that not all games are playing at once.

Your July 22nd Lesser Footy Open Thread: Getting over the hump

Hello Sports fans and Work Procrastinators! Happy hump day! To celebrate the midweek's most sexiest day, we have a triple header-- with the two most important matches of the week  happening-- and one really important match going on in the Championship. Match 1: The "Please Don't Choke Please Don't Choke Please Don't

Your July 21st Lesser Footy Open Thread: Avoiding Relegation

Hello sports fans, gamblers and procrastinators! As you can see from the featured image, longtime sponsor of the Scousers, Carlsberg, have created a commemorative beer can to celebrate Liverpool's first EPL title in decades. I personally like that Carlsberg added the asterisk on the beer can because we all know LiVARpool

Your Matchday 37 Lesser Footy Open thread: The Penultimate match

Hello Sports fans! We've got a lesser footy double header on the menu today. But first, a quick thought about yesterday's Manchester United/ Chelski match. All week, leading up to yesterday's game, many rival fans of United have been pissing and moaning about United getting the VAR decisions and penalty kicks. I've

Your Thursday Lesser Footy Open thread: Get back to work!

Hello sports fans and work procrastinators! We have a Lesser Footy Double header today. Game 1A: Continental Europe Bowl (1PM EST) A YUGE match for both clubs. Leicester needs to keep pace with Chelski, who won yesterday. The Foxes have 1 win from 6 league outings and lost to Chelski in the FA

Your Monday Afternoon Matchday 35 Lesser Footy Open Thread: Change is in the Air

Hello sports fans, degenerate gamblers and people who want to procrastinate! Today's 3PM EST game is the lesser footy match of the week. We've got Satan's favoUrite team, the Manchester United Red Devils, taking on Daniel Craig's favoUrite team,  the Southhampton Saints. Before I break this game down, I'd like to pull

Your July 8th EPL Lesser Footy Open Thread: Did Fetuszilla finally become Babyzilla?

Hello Sports fans and people who rather watch lesser footy than work! We have 4 games on the menu today. Unfortunately, three of them are on at the same time. This is about the only time a three way isn't good. If the EPL was smart, this could have been a

Your matchday 34 EPL Lesser Footy thread: Important games are being played today

Hello Lesser Footy fans!   Welcome to the start of Match day 34 in the EPL.   We have 3 games on today's menu and all are extremely important.   Match 1A: The Relegation Bowl (1PM EST)     This is a match between two teams that have a combined 1 tie and 9 losses over their last 10.

I Watched It So You Didn’t Have To: Santa Girl

Welcome back to DFO’s Annual Christmas movies review. This feature is where one of us poor bastards watches a Christmas movie and summarizes it for you, so you can go for a snooze or drink more booze when your significant other forces you to watch the movie. Today’s Christmas movie