Scary Texan Stories

An Occurrence in East Rutherford

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Eli Manning: Alright Giants, play's a YZ Skipcat. Odell, we got you on this one. It’s a little slant but I’m gonna hit you high so you got time to turn it upfield. We still got third down to pound it for the first then. Odell Beckham Jr: You got it, Eli.

March of the Ram Man

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We come across a man, our main character, walking across the Eads Bridge. His first name is Chris -- last name unknown and equally unimportant. There is no other Chris around and, as he is about to learn, “our main character” may have technically been a misnomer for, you see,

The 2016 “Houston Texans” Preview

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    George Berkeley was an eighteenth-century Irish philosopher who's primarily known for his ideas on immaterialism (later known as "subjective idealism"). This idea is that visible objects, even the world itself, only exist in the mind that perceives them. It is certainly counter-intuitive but contains a valuable insight that has been passed on

CrimeBeat!: Now With Extra Preservatives!

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Gentlemen and ladies- I would like to formally retract my "this year's draft is boring and too drawn out" statements. Not the "drawn out" part, because that remains an Undeniable Truth, but still- that was pretty spectacular. Trades! Surprise slides! TV showing a gas mask in a context other than

Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Rounds 4 and 5

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In case you missed it, I was in Dallas last weekend visiting a friend and enjoying a lot of this: and this so I was in no state to write the AFL Beat.  Upon my return, work was crazy busy so my promised mid-week edition of the AFL Beat did not happen.

Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Midweek Special!

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I know you're disappointed that, for travel-related reasons, your weekly dose of AFL Beat will be delayed. In an effort to tide you over, I offer this little analysis I did in which I asked the question:  What if the NFL used the AFL system to determine playoff seedings? I compiled the

CrimeBeat!: For Whom The Bell-End Tolls

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It was another boring week here at CrimeBeat!- no one went batshit at the Combine, there were no Fax Machine Malfunctions at the franchise tag deadline, but (as far as we know) no one punched, choked or otherwise abused a spouse or child, so....progress? In the great journalistic tradition of

DFO’s Spooktacular Halloween in review

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Halloween is over and everyone is recovering from alcohol poisoning or diabetic shock ( A typical Sunday/Monday if you're Andy Reid). Or maybe you stayed in because you made the mistake of eatign a Halloween whopper and feared you contracted salmonella (#whyismypoopgreen?) Statistically speaking as an adult you either dressed up