CFL Beat: Week 2

It’s a strange week for football scheduling up here, as Friday marks Canada Day and the start of a long weekend; all games for Week 2 are scheduled for Thursday and Friday, necessitating a need to push up this week’s roundup! Honestly, it’s probably just as well, as I’ll be drunk on a lake come this Friday anyhow which really cuts into the whole research and writing process, you know…

Anyhow, what a start to this season! I went 0-4 on predictions for Week 1 and honestly, I’m not even upset about it. Let’s do a few more recaps on why things were so nuts and we’ll get to this week’s games soon enough.

WEEK 1 RECAPS

Hamilton 42 vs. Toronto 20: see last week’s CFL Beat for the recap!

Montreal 22 vs. Winnipeg 14: So far, Montreal has guessed right on their QB situation. Kevin Glenn threw for 332 yards and a TD on 30-42 passing, while leading receiver Duron Carter (son of NFL HOF WR Cris!) grabbed 8 passes for 96 yards. Winnipeg had some good stuff going from RB Andrew Harris, who had 80 yards on 13 carries and six catches for an additional 40 yards. The Bombers, however, saw top receiver Weston Dressler leave the game after a helmet-to-helmet hit in the first quarter (he is still hoping to play this Friday, however). In the end, Winnipeg didn’t have enough to counter the Alouettes’ stymying defense, which sacked Drew Willy five times and picked him off once as well.

PICK: Winnipeg

RESULT: Montreal

Ottawa 45 vs. Edmonton 37 (OT): Holy shitballs, what an absolutely bonkers game. The REDBLACKS had 543 passing yards against a much-lauded Eskimos defence. Starting QB Henry Burris threw for 251 yards and a touchdown before going down with an injury to his right hand after hitting it on a lineman’s helmet on a snap in the third quarter. Backup Trevor Harris came in and went 17-19 for 292 yards and 3 touchdowns in little over a quarter’s worth of action. Harris completed his first nine passes in a row, which included two touchdowns to Chris Williams, who torched the Eskies for 176 yards, including a 71-yard catch-and-run TD. The action was still back-and-forth all game long, with a general fieldgoalkkake summarizing first half action between the teams, as well as blocked punt returned for a touchdown by the Eskimos. Edmonton, who trailed most of the game, finally took a 37-34 lead off a field goal by Sean Whyte in the last minute of the game. However, Ottawa drove hard for Chris Milo to hit a 55-yard field goal, the longest of his career, to send it to OT as time expired. That field goal was the subject of much controversy due a miscommunication between on-field officials and the timing crew, who messed up the sync of the game clock and play clock and thus the proper subs to get the field goal team onto the field; after an Eskimos timeout, there was enough time added back on for the kick to be taken, much to Edmonton’s chagrin. A 19-yard run by Travon Van in OT set up a Harris pass to Brad Sinopoli for the winning TD, a 2-point conversion by WR Greg Ellingson, and the subsequent stuffing of Eskies QB Mike Reilly finally sealed the win for Ottawa, who beat Edmonton for the very first time in 3 seasons in the CFL.

PICK: Edmonton

RESULT: Ottawa

Calgary 18 vs. BC 20: BC scored a come-from-behind win courtesy of Chris Rainey, who scored two touchdowns in the game, the second, which turned out to be the difference-maker, on a 73-yard kick return with just over 13 minutes left in the 4th quarter. All in all, it’s got to be a disappointing result for Calgary, particularly for kicker Rene Paredes, who missed two field goals and a convert – in a dome nonetheless! – and for the defense, who despite blocking three punts on the night, failed to capitalize on any of them. Throw in a goal-line stuff by the Lions in the second, and it’s a likely bet the Stampeders will head back to the drawing board so they can figure out how to capitalize on those golden opportunities moving ahead in the season.

PICK: Calgary

RESULT: BC

WEEK 2 PREVIEWS

Ottawa (1-0) vs. Montreal (1-0), Thursday, June 30th, 7:00 PM EST: Henry Burris has been added to the 1-game Disabled List, so Trevor Harris will get his first start under centre as a REDBLACK, and after last week’s masterful performance, it’s hard to not feel confident about what’s to come for him. Ottawa will also have to do a little shuffling of their offensive line, as a few key contributors are banged up and may not be at their best. Ottawa also signed K Zach Medeiros this week, so that #1 Chris Milo won’t have to handle dual duties in kicking and punting while Ronnie Pfeffer recovers from a high-ankle sprain on the 6-game DL. Out of Montreal, the Alouettes will be able to stay in this thing if they can pressure the QB like they did against Winnipeg last week, where they recorded 5 sacks. However, Ottawa does have a much stronger OL than Winnipeg, so the other way they’ll be able to keep in it is if they can limit the run game and force incompletions when Trevor Harris inevitably has to air it out overtop. Still, that’s a tall order, and the Als may be in trouble this week.

PICK: Ottawa

Toronto (0-1) vs. Saskatchewan (0-0), Thursday, June 30th, 10:00 PM EST: It’s our first look at the freshly-overhauled Roughriders this season, who had the bye last week. So much of the team has changed, from football operations and front office all the way down to the field, but with last year’s Grey Cup winner Chris Jones now in charge as GM and head coach, as well as a healthy starting QB in Darian Durant, Riders fans hopefully feel more confident at the onset of their season. Toronto looked out of sorts last week, and I almost wonder if Ricky Ray saw enough preseason action, because despite throwing two TDs last week, he also threw a pick-six and fumbled away another ball as well. If Toronto can do a better job with holding onto the ball, they’ll be in far better position to turn the corner and win this one. Still, I think the Riders will come hard out of the gate and take this one as they begin their final season at the ancient Mosaic Stadium in Regina.

PICK: Saskatchewan

BC (1-0) vs. Hamilton (1-0), Friday, July 1st, 7:00 PM EST: Who to talk about first for the TiCats… Jeremiah Masoli? Simoni Lawrence? Chad Owens? Andy Fantuz? Hamilton was firing on all cylinders last week when they beat Toronto, with all four of the above names serving as key contributors in the 22-point victory. It’s Masoli and Lawrence who stick out the most to me, however, with the backup QB throwing for 318 yards and 3 TDs as starter Zach Collaros recovers from ACL surgery, and Lawrence was the defensive catalyst as he recovered a fumble and scored a pick-six against the Argos. As the TiCats head home, where they’ve enjoyed a ton of success over the last two seasons, BC embarks on their first road game of the year, where they were… not good last year (3-6). Despite a win, QB Jon Jennings looked pretty pedestrian, and he’ll be in tough against a ferocious Hamilton defence. You can’t rely on special teams to win you two games in a row, so Jennings will need to be the focal point for the Lions if they want to win this one.

PICK: Hamilton

Winnipeg (0-1) vs. Calgary (0-1), Friday, July 1st, 10:00 PM EST: Calgary blew some golden opportunities to put the game away for good against BC, but don’t expect it to happen again. No doubt the Stamps will be working on their red-zone offense, which saw them blow four consecutive chances on the goal line (as BC was called offsides in one play during the drive) and turn the ball over on downs. For Winnipeg, they’ll very much want leading receiver Weston Dressler back to help spark the offense; as I’m writing this, things apparently look good for him to play, but no final decision has been made yet. Without Dressler, the Bombers will no doubt lean more on Andrew Harris to shoulder the load, and they’ll need to do a better job protecting QB Drew Willy, who was sacked five times last week, if they want to win this one. The Stamps, who remain a far stronger team than the Als, won’t make that easy one bit for Winnipeg.

PICK: Calgary

BYE: Edmonton (0-1)

Game picks this week: 0-4

Game picks this season: 0-4

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The Maestro
The Maestro is a mystical Canadian internet user and New England Patriots fan; when the weather is cooperative and the TV signal at his igloo is strong enough, he enjoys watching the NFL, the Ottawa Senators & REDBLACKS, and yelling into the abyss on Twitter. He is somehow allowed to teach music to high school students when he isn't in a blind rage about sports, and is also a known connoisseur of cheap beers across the Great White North.
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/author/the-maestro/
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

As a Bears fan, I am obligated to cast doubt on any professional endeavor where Henry Burris is seen as competent or better.

Wakezilla

BC Lions played exactly how everyone thought their season would go: They were both horrible and impressive in their win against Calgary.

I think as long as the defense can keep it close, as long as the O-Line doesn’t turn into a turnstill, the Lions will have a shot against Hamilton. Also, Rainey is a beast and is quickly becoming the best return man in the league.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

The shit is “defence”?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude

So I show up to the vendor to inspect this pump skid and test it. I am here about 24 hours before my management.

I now see why they fired their head mechanical person.

This job is fucking cursed. I cannot wait for this project to be done and I never have to worry about this shit again. Nothing is correct. Also, half the electrical shit doesn’t work on it. I got basically four hours before my management shows up in the afternoon so I don’t have a circus of people berating me about this not working.

On a positive, HR finally made an offer to me to take over our training program for customers and in house. On a negative, the offer is a fucking joke. $82k a year for 40 hours a week. The thing is, this requires extensive hours. Training regularly goes well over 8 hours a day. Per the HR offer, I am expect to do this without any additional compensation.

So needless to say, REWRITE when I get back. I love how they send this to me while I am literally in between sites.

Sill Bimmons

“Canadiens send P.K. Subban to Predators for Shea Weber in blockbuster trade”

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http://sports.yahoo.com/news/canadiens-send-p-k-subban-000000441.html

Wakezilla

Burn Bergevin. Burn everything.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

All woman panel; people would rather watch SA Smith and Bayless? Fucking fans are fucking idiots.

Unsurprised

I’ve been saying this for years

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

they shood of nown 1st taeks fans only care abot women kneeling not there feelings,, smgdh

Sill Bimmons

Did anyone see this coming?

“The Edmonton Oilers have traded Taylor Hall to the New Jersey Devils for defenseman Adam Larsson in a straight up 1-for-1 deal.”

Sill Bimmons

“According to McKenzie, Stamkos has agreed to an eight-year deal with the Lightning at an average annual value of $8.5 million.”

So that’s over before it started.

nomonkeyfun

When I first read it, I thought you said in a lake coma. I think that would be the ultimate DFOer Canadia/4th of July weekend.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

HODOR! HODOOOOR!

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Sill Bimmons

“Cara Nicole Trujillo is officially in the race for the Arizona House of Representatives. On the heels of a successful signature drive and filing two weeks ago with the Arizona Secretary of State’s Office, Trujillo’s name will appear on the November ballot as a Green Party candidate in Tempe’s Legislative District 26.”

http://www.heavymetal.com/v2/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/cara-nicole-trujillo-azpowergirl-splash-3.jpg

blaxabbath

Hot blondes are who the Koch Bros should be funding; it’d make their whole agenda a lot more palatable.

http://images1.phoenixnewtimes.com/imager/u/745xauto/8339931/powergirl-az-street-clothes-no-clothes.jpg

Unsurprised

It’s worked for 20 years at Fox News

Sill Bimmons

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Unsurprised

GO LIONS!

nomonkeyfun

He must be Mrs. Carter’s illegitimate child, because Chris only

http://i1028.photobucket.com/albums/y342/Pro-Black/cris-carter-one-hand-o.gif

blaxabbath

Foot was out of bounds before he pulled the ball into the end zone. Not a catch. Touchdown Seahawks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Down at the one.

Fronkenshteen

Can’t believe I never noticed the toupees in that Simpsons pic.

Unsurprised

The color in those earlier episodes was so off that it’s easy to mentally disregard as a glitch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

I think it’s hilarious that you went 0-4. I didn’t think you could have done that even if you tried.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s NOT what she said.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Fronkenshteen

If Trevor Harris lights it up again, do you think the Redblacks have a dreaded QB CONTROVERSY? That’s a pretty impressive line he put up, coming off the bench and all.

blaxabbath

Ottawa vs. Montreal AND BC vs. Hamilton? If NBC carried the CFL, they’d be creaming over two ‘Battle of the Undefeateds!’.

Fronkenshteen

Hey mang! I saw your comment last night about possibly dropping acid at a Raider home game. Don’t know if you’re seriously entertaining that idea, but I’d advise against it. Concerts are a FAR superior venue for that drug. Dark room, light show, everyone looking somewhere else (and not at you!) and your favorite music.
If you decide to take it at the game, though, take your dose 2-3 hours before you go in. The first rush of acid is EXTREMELY intense. It’s best to have as much control over your environment as you can while your brain recalibrates. Standing in a stadium surrounded by large men voluntarily wearing face paint drunkenly howling the national anthem while fighter jets suddenly scream overhead would be, well….hard to understand on acid.
Sorry for sticking my nose in yer business.
Cheers!

blaxabbath

I recommend this entire comment for the banner.

Also, thank you for the input. Also, I don’t consider it ‘in my business’ if I posted it on some public comment section the government is tracking.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Just hero level looking out for a friend/aquantence here. It is one of my “I will never try this” but advice from friends who have done it and know the pitfalls is always helpful

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know if I’d ever advise anyone to take acid at an event that includes lots of potentially unfriendly strangers.

Fronkenshteen

The NFL is too heavy for psychedelics. In 2000, a buddy & I decided to eat some mushrooms at his place and watch Vikings at Rams. Can’t remember if it was the NFC championship, but it was a playoff game. So I came over with bagels, we toasted them up, and just slathered cream cheese over the mushrooms (still gagged). We got them down a half hour before kickoff, so they were coming on really strong at kickoff. The part where your pupils SLAM open and you’re all giggly and pulling at your beard. Minnesota kicks a field goal. Then this happened:
https://youtu.be/65teJeCr_Ew
Then this happened:
https://youtu.be/LyEsfx9mQ-g
Will you just look at all that insanity? Warner’s wife with the troll hair? The slappy hooray sticks? The dancing? I think the final score was 143-68 or something. My buddy spent the rest of the afternoon on his porch. I couldn’t look away, and watched the whole thing. I’ll never do it again.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Everything seems so spread out in those clips. It’s like they’re playing on field that’s 1.5x the size of a regular field.

blaxabbath

Faulk showed some speed there (or MIN was slow) but I like how, instead of running to the corner untouched, he was like, “fuck it, I’ve ran like 60 yards already, I’m just gonna cut upfield and give a weak stiff arm as I put away the score.”

Unsurprised

I miss TD celebrations. Old white men suck all the dicks.

I also really miss football.

nomonkeyfun

But when they take out their dentures… Dayum!!!

montythisseemsstrangetome

Hey! That was one of, like, three years in my whole life that St. Louis football was good!

Fronkenshteen

Over the course of his long broadcast career, I don’t think I ever saw another team that made Madden yell, “WHOOO!!!”.

blaxabbath

What do you mean unfriendly? I’ll have on my tee shirt!

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Beerguyrob

Personal experience dictates I recommend Disneyland for an acid trip trip.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A friend of mine did that with some buddies; apparently random people don’t enjoy being intensely laughed at.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I agree with this totally; even if I was a Raiders fan I would strongly caution against doing this, because if you have to deal with people who are not your friends and not trippin’ balls to it ranges from extremely awkward to down right sucking. My best experiences were camping, hanging out in large parks or hikes, at parties where the group is doing the same, concerts, AND A NIGHT WITH THAT SPECIAL TRIPPIN’ OVARIES LADY. The concert

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I totally agree with this; even if I was a Raiders fan this sounds like a terrible idea ESPECIALLY if it is your first time. Dealing with people who are not your friends and are not trippin’ balls ranges from extremely awkward to downright sucking. My best experiences were camping, hiking or hanging out in big parks, a house party with people doing the same, concerts, AND WITH THAT SPECIAL LADY TRIPPIN’ OVARIES.

Some of the times at concerts got pretty weird such as a crowd rush or when the house lights are on and everybody is waiting for the first act and you and your buddy are repeating the same joke that no one else understands and laughing extremely hard at every repeat; that moment you realize when this is happening.

tl;dr: don’t trip at a fucking Raiders game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WTF happened? Speaking of trippin’ balls! WEIRD!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

ODD!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

CONFOUNDING!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

PERPLEXING!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Fronkenshteen

http://i.makeagif.com/media/6-30-2015/EQ7GKd.gif
“Only take what you can handle, and always know your dealer.”