Now what’s with all this talk I hear about 2015 being bad/sucky? You have in front of you TWO(!) Thanksgiving tilts that feature teams over .500 playing games that have implications in their divisions. If this is Trump’s America, I’m all for it. Hell, I want him to sing the Star-Spangled Banner before each of the games. I can see Ivanka and Melania gently swaying and humming in the background, their tattered bikini’s leaving little to the imagination of the American public. Behind them marching in single file, 100 of the oiliest, shredded and shirtless firefighters/policemen reminding us of their commitment to keeping us safe. “STRENTH THOUGH JOY” the mis-spelled banners will proclaim because “G’s” and “R’s” will be subject to rationing going forward-but you get the idea. If you do get the idea you are federally-mandated to explain it to those who don’t. To all those nay-sayers out there I say-AMERICA’S GLASS OF PBR WILL ALWAYS BE HALF-FULL! TO THE GAME!
Min/Det-God, when was the last time the Lions were playing a game that mattered? It must have been back when a young and aloof Barry Sanders was merrily skipping his way past flummoxed defenders and he retired in ’99. [sees that Detroit made the playoffs in ’11 and ’14] Huh. Well, I’ll be bedazzled! The winner of this one will have the inside track on the division title. As noted in this here blog, the Packers are going nowhere fast and that anchor they call a D has a great deal of momentum. So have at it Lions and Vikes, make it a good one.
A Short Note To Readers Out There: If you’ve thought about commenting I strongly encourage you to dip your toes in on a day like today. Everyone around here is pretty cool and relaxed and smart and intelligent and boozy and full-bellied (at the moment or shortly). Let us know how your day is going, who your team is, what you made to eat, what you’re drinking, how obnoxious your family is, etc. You know you want to and it’s a great excuse to get away from it all if only for a minute or two. If you’re on your own, all the more reason to join this wee band of ragamuffins. We always like to see new faces/avatars and we promise to treat you with respect and we may even grow to love you.
There she is, TYPE YOU FARGIN BASTIGES, TYPE!
I’m full, everything came out well and was super tasty! This is before I filled the gravy boat, and we’re having a food break before putting the pie in the oven.
Phil can’t even be fucking bothered to come on to the field any more?
What the fuck is this shit? If i want to cry during football, I’ll watch more Jets games.
Somewhere, Barry Sanders is napping peacefully, a small smile coming to his face as he lets out an extended, rapid fire percussive fart.
Sam Bradford: friend of the spread.
New kind of Indian giver!
Loins… Win?
And that’s that. The Lions have pretty much won the NFC North. Holee Fuckballs.
And now Vikings fans know the pain of Sam Bradford
I
A trail of tears home for Sam.
That was Romoesque
Playing wee bowling with two of my nieces. Annoying cousin Carl shows up. Talks shit about me losing to two four year olds. He gets next game. Proceeds to beat both children by at least 150 points. Tries to talk shit to the girls.
“Uncle Carl…at least I know what football is”
Grandpa runs into room to fistbump 4 year old granddaughter.
Fuck Carl.
Agreed. Carl can eat a bag of dicks.
Add about 150 pounds and subtract millions of net worth.
Seriously….he shows up at my parents place every year uninvited.
When I was a kid, my family used to rent one of these glorious machines every year:
http://artvoice.com/issues/v8n42/three_guys/threeguys2.jpeg
We’d post it in the garage by the spare fridge and the keg. For my money, after Thanksgiving dinner in a chilly garage playing my cousins and aunts and uncles of all ages in seriously competitive and boozy games of shuffle bowling is as close as you can get to heaven on Earth.
Sound like Carl’s losing worse to four-year-olds than you are. Any chance of him realizing that shutting up is his best move at this point?
He seriously thought I was trying to win or that the goal of this was to crush twin little girls. The dude is a straight up clown.
Boo, Shan’Khor does not approve.
Our new goddess is a fickle gal.
Blech. The game was on briefly, then switched off for Netflix Xmas movies.
So I am indeed in the car listening to the game. Cursing the fact that I can’t leave yet.
Time to travel. Back later. No murdering!
https://goo.gl/images/LlFK23
I wonder if Anquan Boldin still misses Stringer Bell.
http://i932.photobucket.com/albums/ad164/nzsr/the%20wire%20baltimore%20nfl/boldin.jpg
Hey Amazon, 85 dollars for an Iggles bandana for my dog seems a bit pricey!
Probably just shred mu Kolb/Asomugha/Mamula/Maclin/McCoy/Murray/Shephard jersey…..
That’s a lot of names for one jersey.
I wish, it is a lot of sadness for many jerseys.
Water does not get wasted. Ever. It goes down the hole like plucky duck says, gets treated (except in flint) and comes right back. It’s not something we’re in danger of losing. I’m not killing children by brushing my teef asshole.
I was thinking this guy is kind of a dick, treating all those other people in his house like they’re homeless.
Dinner rolls are out of the oven and looking great. Turkey is in. Pies made, stuffing prepped. Pretty much all the work remaining is chopping potatoes, snipping green beans, and finishing things up at the end. Oh, and drinking. Plenty of drinking.
Bradford hard-luck story…SHOTS!
You think Sam Bradford thinks his receivers need to stretch more, and that’s why he consistently throws just outside their reach?
You know DAMN WELL that guy doing the tough guy shuffle in the stands is a hard core juggalo.
Their documentaries get me every time.
3rd and long and a run up the middle? Did the Lions hire Norv?
Each of us has a little Norv within us that comes out from time to time.
No way. He’s hiding in a bunker somewhere to avoid being basted today.
http://cdn1.sbnation.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/4016281/turkeyneck.0_standard_352.0.gif
That is the most terrifying gif I’ve ever seen.
Flap your chicken wings some more Stafford. That’ll convince them.
That was shite. Wait 3 seconds, THEN kill the play. Bleergh your priests be trippin.
So sister’s cat puked on my Jets blanket. This is widely regarded as the best thing to happen to the Jets this year.
Now you have to burn it, you know.
The cat, not the blanket.
I’m like 80% sure that burning a black cat is bad luck. And 100% sure that it leads to a murderous sister.
Does that count as four quarterback hits?
The Phil Seeeeems All Iron MVP is the only award Charlie Batch has ever won.
When all the white people at the Lions game need to return the suburbs do they travel in armed caravans or is it every man for himself?
As a white person who has driven solo down seven mile road, if they’re smart, they’ll hunker down in place and wait for the National Guard escort
Kick a FG, Fuck Lions. Daddy needs MOAR than Thielen’s current 11.3.
Blair Walsh woulda shanked that one smh
Our secondary Lord is not pleased.
I guess the Vikings just didn’t really want a touchdown.
A cover that trumps the orginal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZYgsMXHY_w
Huh, I’m happy to see that CBS is streaming the game without requiring a cable sub. WHOOOOOO MORE RAINIER AND SCOTCH AND FOOSBALL FOR ME!!!!
This motherfucker right here drinks Rainier. No one may ever give me shit for drinking Miller Lite all day ever again.
It’s pronounced “Ron-YAY”, with your pinkie extended, because it is the finest of the finest regional beers not owned by…
/looks up who owns Rainier
Oh god dammit, Miller contracts out a bunch of Pabst Brewing beers.
I have no issue with your choice; best part of shit beer is being able to find it everywhere and drink a fuck ton of it.
I miss getting Schmidt-faced in college.
They are next door to each other in Milwaukee. Basically.
Sam Bradford blocks for no one.
Someone should tell the Lions PR department that having their fans waving white flags is not a good image.
No, but it is fitting.