Your “There’s Even Less On Tonight?!” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Consider it bullshit until you hear actual numbers and/or draft picks mentioned, but someone is spreading rumours that the Seahawks are listening to offers for Richard Sherman.
    • which is ridiculous, because their GM is too busy working on improving the O- & D-lines.
  • Sean Payton denies the Saints have offered Johnny Manziel anything. That’s just how he likes it.
    • also, because the Patriots want their #1 pick, the Saints have refused to offer anything to Malcolm Butler.
  • JERRAL vows to have Romo’s situation sorted out “before training camp”.
  • Believing that clothes make the man, and those clothes made their men losers, the Browns are once again discussing a uniform change.
    • which they can’t do until 2019, because NFL rules state you can only change jerseys every 5 years.
What’s not to love?
  • Teddy Bridgewater may not be back until 2018. That’s genuinely sad.
  • Hotted-up Raiders relocation rumours: (in order of authenticity)
    1. Santa Clara
    2. San Antonio
    3. Cal
    4. AT&T Park
    5. San Diego
  • Adrian Peterson has been working out with Jameis Winston.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BSNFf3rhJvq/

 

Finally, today’s long-form read is from ESPN, and is about how lawyers are eating into the proposed concussion settlement between the League and retired players.


Expect the NFL Network desk to look a little different, as Michael Irvin has been accused of sexual assault against a woman on March 21st.

  • PFT reports that TMZ reports she met him at a bar & then went back to his hotel.
    • “She says she began to feel sick in his room, remembers fighting him off, and woke up as he was checking out.”
    • “She took an Uber home and called 911 at 7:30 AM. She told cops she feared she was drugged and raped. She was advised to go to a medical lab for a swab and a blood test, which she did.”
  • His version is, naturally, very different:
    • He was out at a bar with a group of people, until 4:30AM, when he went back to his hotel.
    • “Michael says he had an early flight, was in the room for only 15 minutes and had no sexual contact with the woman. He also says another male was present.”
      • in a statement with a clear double entendre, “he says the woman — a cosmetologist — texted him a day later saying, ‘Come for a facial when you get back to Ft. Lauderdale’.”
    • His lawyer also gets into some victim shaming, talking about “red flags in her background”

This is his third such allegation.

  • in 1997, he was accused by a woman who later admitted to lying about the incident, and she ended up serving 90 days for perjury.
    • he & co-accused Erik Williams also received a $2.0 million defamation settlement from KXAS-TV in Dallas.
  • in 2007, he was accused of sexual assault in Broward County & worked out a confidential settlement with the accuser.

He is likely to face suspension from NFL Network until the matter is decided, although the Network has refused comment at this time.


Canada 150: March 29, 1867

The British Parliament passes the British North America Act, creating the Dominion of Canada.

At the conclusion of the US Civil War (1861-65), there was great fear in British North America that the victorious Union army would seek to enact US government revenge against Britain for economically supporting the South via trade. In addition, the Trent Affair (1861) “proved” there were diplomatic ties between the South & the British, and the Alabama Affair showed that the British were surreptitiously providing the South with warships. The St. Albans Raid (1864) showed that Confederate agents were operating (with or without British knowledge) along the northern border.

The Alabama Affair was one of the primary causes of the fear of US invasion, because the US made economic claims against Britain for the damages causes by the CSS Alabama. and some politicians demanded the annexation of the British Canadian provinces (the “Province of Canada” [now Ontario & Quebec], New Brunswick & Nova Scotia), as compensation.

The London Conference, which ran from December 1866 to March 1867, was called to follow up on the Charlottetown & Quebec conferences of 1864, which laid the groundwork for the union of British North America into the Confederation of Canada. “Confederation” proved to be a sticking point at the conference –  the Canadian delegates wished it to be a kingdom; the British feared that such a title would anger the United States, and denied the request. An alternative, “Dominion,” was suggested by Samuel Leonard Tilley, from a line in Psalm 72 of the Bible: “He shall have dominion also from sea to sea, and from the river unto the ends of the earth.” (source)

The bill proposing the British North America Act was submitted to the British Parliament on February 11, 1867. It was signed into law by Queen Victoria on March 29, 1867, with July 1 being the date the Act officially took effect – Dominion Day. (The holiday became “Canada Day” after 1982.)


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Blackhawks at Penguins – 8:00PM | NBCSN
    • Kings at Flames – 9:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Blues at Coyotes – 10:30PM | Sportsnet360
  • NBA:
    • Hornets at Raptors – 7:30PM | Sportsnet1
    • Warriors at Spurs – 9:30PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Wizards at Clippers – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1

If the Flames win tonight, that means up to 5 Canadian teams in the playoffs. Still – ANYBODY BUT THE LEAFS!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

It’s always nice when you’re at the bar and the person you’re having a conversation with challenges you and says that the loyalty you wanted from someone before starting a romantic and sexual relationship was actually an attempt at control, and how have your evenings gone?

Unsurprised

I hope her vagina withers and falls out

Senor Weaselo

Actually the person I was arguing with was a guy! It’s a lot of cynicism in an attempt to get me all about dat action… boss? I think?

Unsurprised

Then I hope his vagina falls out.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Is it so much to trust me when I post normal weather info. I will be in the snowbank in 10 min. I fear you wordpress

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Unsurprised

Get out of my head!

The Maestro

get in here for poker you fuckers

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, I had a very weird night. Stranger at the bar told me about how she planned someone’s murder. Poker?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am torturing myself by watching Arrow right now. It has gotten just bad. But I am still watching it. Maybe in 42 min

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Very specific

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

It is the length of every hour long show now. Give or take 30 seconds

WCS

I’m definitely in, but, it’s contingent on getting Lil’ WCS to sleep.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am watching Chuck again. It still pisses me off Sarah refuses to share her name with Chuck but does it with the piece of plywood they credit as Brandon Routh after 2 episodes. And how does that guy still get work. worst fucking actor in a generation but he looks like Superman so he gets to make the worst version of Superman ever, then gets more work.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

I decided to pick a fight with my gastrointestinal tract earlier, by having a Taco Bell Crunch Wrap Supreme. It was delicious; pray for my toilet tomorrow.

JustStopDude

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Mr. Ayo

I took Immodium this afternoon and then ate a Carl’s Jr. Breakfast Burger for dinner. The Battle of My Bottom™ is now underway.

WCS

The Battle of the Coral Sea is now being reenacted in Ayo’s colon.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

“You gotta pay the troll toll, to get into this boy’s hole…”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, that made me laugh.

Mr. Ayo

That should help me sleep better.

JustStopDude

This tattoo makes my brain misfire…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The ones in the jockey locker rooms have hand holds.

JustStopDude

Figures the Koreans would come up with vomit toilets…

Correction “Barf Sink”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Fuck it. Later, taters.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I keep forgetting The Americans is on Tuesdays. It’s the only series I’m watching now and one of the few things in my life worth living for. You’d think I’d set up a fucking reminder as this is now week 4.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You know it’s Wednesday, right?

Shogun Marcus

I still play this beat when I’m not paying attention in meetings and whatnot. If someone responds correctly, I know we’ll get along.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Not 100% sure on the correct answer. I am leaning towards if you died I’d move to the center of the couch.

WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Years ago when I first saw that episode I laughed for twenty minutes straight. I was pretty buzzed, but still.

Unsurprised

You saw that photo I posted earlier?

WCS

Tia Carrere has had some work done.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh