Celebrity Super Bowl Picks: Tomi Lahren

SonOfSpam - January 28, 2019January 27, 2019

Many news organizations and pop culture websites report Super Bowl picks from today's hottest celebrities. Here at DoorFliesOpen, we decided to request picks from horrible people instead. Hatemongering attention whore Timmi Latrine answered the call and submitted this poorly-worded screed for our amusement. This is entirely unedited and in her

The NFL Dating Game!

yeah right - May 7, 2018

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNJurbIDEpU Voice over: "It's time to play...The NFL Dating Game! Now Let's welcome the host of our show...The Ghost of Jim Lange!" [audience applause] Ghost of Jim Lange: "Hi Everybody! Welcome back to our show! We've got a great contestant lined up today and three handsome available NFL bachelors just waiting for their chance to

The Curse of Oak Island, Part The First

Horatio Cornblower - January 2, 2016

Oak Island is a 140 acre island located off of the south shore of Nova Scotia. For more than 200 years people of all types and backgrounds have searched for treasure supposedly hidden away on the island. To date almost nothing has been found. Still people continue to pursue the

There’s Something Rotten in Ashburn

Sometimes I wonder if selling your soul is worth it

Uncategorized

BrettFavresColonoscopy - September 3, 2015September 4, 2015

Interior: [*Redacted] s Park. A dark shadowy figure lurks behind a desk, but not an ordinary desk. A dark, foreboding, and imposing desk that has been modified to be only 5/8 as large as a normal desk but with 175% of the arrogance. A small but shadowy figure is perched behind

ESPN At The Little League World Series

Horatio Cornblower - August 27, 2015August 26, 2015

KARL RAVECH: Hi Folks, Karl Ravech here in Williamsport, PA, home of the Little League World Series, where we'll be spending the next week exploiting and psychologically damaging 12 and 13 year olds by subjecting them to the sort in intense scrutiny usually reserved for SEC football players. Except the