DFO Bible Stories: The Christmas Story

DFO Bible Stories

montythisseemsstrangetome - December 22, 2016December 21, 2016

1When Mary was engaged to Joseph, but before they were married, an angel appeared to Mary and told her she would conceive a child. 2"How can this be," replied Mary, "for I do not know man." 3And the angel told Mary that she would conceive by the power of the Holy

DFO Bible Stories: The Ten Commandments

montythisseemsstrangetome - June 14, 2016June 14, 2016

1I am the Lord your God. You shall have no other gods before Me. 2You shall not make for yourself a carved image. 3You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. 4Remember the Sabbath day. In it you shall do no work. 5Honor your father and your mother. 6You shall

DFO Bible Stories: The Prodigal Son

montythisseemsstrangetome - June 6, 2016June 4, 2016

1There was a man who had two sons. 2And the younger of the sons said, "ARRRRRROOOOOOO, I WANT MY INHERITANCE NOW." 3So the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country and there he squandered his property in reckless living. 4And when he had spent everything, a severe

The Unbearable Lightness of Peyton’s Speech

montythisseemsstrangetome - May 11, 2016May 11, 2016

So, I mentioned to some of you a couple months ago that I was going to a technology vendor conference in Las Vegas, at which the keynote speaker was none other than reigning Super Bowl Champion quarterback Peyton Manning. That conference is now, I am currently in Las Vegas, and

DFO Bible Stories: Creation

montythisseemsstrangetome - May 2, 2016May 1, 2016

1In the beginning, when God createth the universe, darkness doth engulfed the earth. 2And God sayeth "Let there be light" - and light appeared. 3God was pleased with what he saw. 4On the second day, God createth a dome to cover the earth. 5On the third day God createth the land and greenery

Should I Watch Football This Year? (Part II)

montythisseemsstrangetome - March 1, 2016February 29, 2016

Pros: Need to maintain high level of awareness of breast cancer throughout October Not even sure my TV gets any other channels on Sunday Odell Beckham Jr. unlikely to come to my house and make one-handed catches for my personal viewing Want to get in on the ground floor of London Jaguars-mania Football only sport

Should I Watch Football This Year? (Part I)

montythisseemsstrangetome - March 1, 2016February 29, 2016

It's almost a perfect storm. My enjoyment of the NFL has been tempered in recent years by the conduct of its players, the hypocritical nature of its leadership, and the arbitrariness of its officiating. Add to that the sudden departure of the Rams and the likely retirement of Peyton Manning,

Manning v Brady

montythisseemsstrangetome - January 19, 2016January 18, 2016

Al Michaels: MANNING BRADY MANNING BRADY MANNING MANNING BRADY BRADY BRADY BRADY MANNING MANNING YUUUUUUUUUUGE BRADY MANNING MANNING BRADY. Cris Collinsworth: This is crazy, we've been watching football games for a long time and we've NEVER seen BRADY MANNING MANNING MANNING BRADY BRADY MANNING BRADY MANNING BRADY BRADY BRADY MANNING before. Jon

How I Know If You’re Stupid

montythisseemsstrangetome - January 15, 2016January 14, 2016

If there is a conversation about almost any topic, and you make a statement that starts with "My thing is...", then you have done me a great service because I now know I don't have to pay attention to anything else you say. What follows "My thing is..." is invariably

The Following Is A Presentation Of The National Football League

NFL Announcers

montythisseemsstrangetome - December 16, 2015December 15, 2015

ANDREW CATALON: Good afternoon and welcome to exciting NFL action on CBS, home of Super Bowl 50! I'm a guy you haven't heard of, flanked by a couple of former players with serious looks on their faces, underscoring the importance of this matchup between two middling teams that are neither

3 Things – Because There Always Has to Be 3 Things

STORNG TAEK!!1!

montythisseemsstrangetome - October 27, 2015October 26, 2015

1.) Pharmacies are stapler-happy. Why must they always staple my receipt to the bag? Don't they know I need that shit for my taxes? "Hey Monty, IRS Auditor here, you got a receipt for this $13.27 prescription you paid for out of your Health Savings Account? No? Okay, that's an

Nobody Cares About My Fantasy Team

Fantasy Football

montythisseemsstrangetome - October 1, 2015October 1, 2015

We don't care about Horatio's fantasy teams so much that we don't even care about not caring about them anymore. Even Horatio doesn't care. So this week we turn to not caring about MY fantasy team. And there's a lot to not care about here. We are not caring so