Good morning all.

Hope everyone is well and woke and mentally OK out there.

This fucking year man.

Had myself another, I don’t know what the fuck to call it, “anxiety attack” I guess, while I was at work this week.

Holy shit those things are not fun.

Let me tell you all how much love, respect and appreciation I have for every one of the incredibly talented and humane writers that we have on this site. I reached out to the DFO Club House mid-attack and the support and assistance that they offered was invaluable for getting me through that awful experience.

We have truly wonderful and brilliant human beings that write for this site and I love every one of them.

I want to let each of you know that if you are experiencing random bouts of anxiety or helplessness or confusion about the stupid fucking world we live in YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

I think that is one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned this year. Every. Single. One of us is going through the same series of events and every single one of us are being affected in very similar ways.

It’s also OK to feel vulnerable, it’s OK to feel sad at our current existence but most of all IT’S OK TO TALK ABOUT IT!

Please do. If you’re experiencing any symptoms reach out to someone, anyone and share your feelings. Dig deep and bring out all of that stress. I think you’ll find that you are far from alone. In fact if you have any functioning conscience at all you’ll find we’re all in the exact same club. The “Fuck This Year 2020 Club.”

It’s OK to hurt.

We all do.

Alright. Gotta confess right now that it was a little tough to gather my thoughts to put together today’s Sunday Gravy post but I’ll do my best.

I had this meal all cooked up with a theme and everything then my entire thought process got fried like a batch of Popeye’s chicken.

Let’s do this motherfucker.

 

Hey everyone!

Today we’ve got a fun and timely recipe for you. Today we are making my version of “Lou Wills Lemon Pepper Barbecue Chicken Wings!”

Some of you will get that reference immediately but for those who don’t here’s a quick explanation.

Los Angeles Clippers guard Lou Williams had been playing in the NBA “bubble” in Florida during the NBA restart. He left the bubble to attend a funeral for his grandfather and right after the viewing service he went to a “Gentlemen’s Club” called Magic City in Atlanta.

Go ahead and Google it. I’ll wait.

Initial explanation was he went there for the food only. Shit, he even has a style of wings named after him on the menu. The aforementioned “Lou Wills Lemon Pepper Barbecue Chicken Wings.”

However! Turns out he had more than wings on his mind. It was later discovered that he had at least one lap dance as well.

He was forced to quarantine for 10 days when he returned to the bubble and actually ended up missing a couple of non-playoff games, thereby earning a severe “tut-tutting” from the usual media assholes who clearly don’t understand the importance of getting some wings and a lap dance in the middle of a global fucking pandemic.

It’s therapy dammit!

I’ve lived in the LA area since 1992 and I’ve seen more Clippers games than any other NBA team.

Good fucking luck getting Lakers seats out here.

I like the Clips just fine (I’m a Chicago Bulls fan by the way) and they’ve finally developed a team with a real chance at winning the whole fucking thing. I’ve seen Lou Will play a bunch and he’s probably my favorite current Clipper player along with Montrezl Harrell. He’s fun as hell to watch and has crazy 3 point range plus he looks like he’s having a blast when he plays. Seems like a great teammate too.

Plus it turns out he’s a great tipper!

Also as someone who has seen the inside of more than a few “gentlemen’s clubs” I can speak from experience on them as well.

So when this crazy story happened?

I just fucking knew I had to make that shit.

Feel like making some wings?

Yes, again.

OK then!

My version of Lou Wills Lemon Pepper Barbecue Chicken Wings!

It’s my version because after research mine don’t look anything like the original but who gives a shit? I already cooked these.

Lemon-Pepper Barbecue Sauce

Recipe very much inspired by a thread from Smokingmeatforums.com

1/2 cup chopped onion

1/2 tablespoon vegetable oil

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 can (15 oz size) tomato sauce

2 tablespoons brown sugar

2 teaspoons dried basil

1 1/2 teaspoons dry mustard

1/2 teaspoon paprika – Hot Hungarian style if you got it

1/2 teaspoon coarse ground black pepper

1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1/4 teaspoon ground allspice

2 lemons worth of grated zest

4 tablespoons lemon juice – from those same 2 lemons

1 1/2 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

Alas no “lemon pepper” seasoning in this one. Yes I was a bit surprised.

To get started get your onion out and get to choppin’.

Dice size is important here since this is going to be a “chunky” style of barbecue sauce.

That should do just fine right there.

Now since we’ve already got our cutting board out and messy let’s get to work on that lemon action.

Yes, those are indeed some lovely lemons. In what should be a surprise to exactly no-fucking-body we have pretty continuous access to quality lemons here.

First we’re gonna juice ’em.

Remember that if you roll the lemons around on the cutting board or countertop while giving them firm pressure, they will impart their juices a little more freely when you juice them.

I went ahead and minced our garlic while I was at it.

Total disclosure: I have to tell you that I find the act of “zesting” citrus to be a bit of a pain in the ass. Especially since we’re zesting 2 lemons today.

I’ve always “juiced” first then “zest”-ed second since I’m not sure how doing those in reverse would work without being weird.

Next, we gather!

Not quite the usual suspects for a barbecue sauce with the conspicuous addition of the allspice and the dry mustard but it’s pretty similar to your standard sauce with the exception of a LOT of lemon presence in there.

Get out a medium size sauce pan and put it over a medium-high heat. Add in the oil and let it heat up some, then in go the onions to soften.

Cook these fuckers for a good 5-7 minutes until translucent and soft. Add in the garlic for a few seconds just until it starts to get aromatic. Thirty seconds or so. Next we add in…

like every fucking thing else!

Have a lid handy, since as you marinara making mo-fos know this shit will bubble and spatter your stove top – like an asshole – in just seconds.

Once the sauce starts simmering reduce it to the lowest heat level possible and simmer – covered of course – for 15-20 minutes.

When ready?

It will look like that.

Let the sauce cool to room temperature if using right away.

Or you can place in a container and refrigerate for up to 2 weeks. Obviously this step can be made WAY in advance.

If you wanted a smoother sauce you can blend this at this point. I went chunky style today.

Okey dokey. Since we’re going to be cooking some wings today you are going to need some…

motherfucking wings.

Quick chicken diatribe. You will notice that those wings are cage-free and organic. I didn’t do this so I could get on some hippy-dippy rant about treating chickens with dignity and respect.

Fuck that. We’re eating the fucking things after all so being humane to them isn’t exactly high on the goddamn agenda.

The reason is, these things taste better than your standard mass market factory produced chicken wings and that’s a damn good reason to buy them. Yes they cost a bit more but I’ve never let cost stop me in the past and I ain’t starting now.

We will be giving our wings a pre-cook in the oven today.

Remember this thing?

Our disposable aluminum pan? We technically don’t have to use this today since I’m just going to be pre-cooking the wings with a little salt and pepper prior to finishing them on the grill but since we already had the damn thing on hand and also since they make a very handy chicken bone disposal vessel, why the fuck not?

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and lube up the bottom of your cooking pan.

Take your wings and add them in a single layer to the pan. Season with salt and some coarsely ground black pepper. The coarsely ground IS important today. It’s “Lou Wills Lemon PEPPER Barbecue Chicken Wings” right? This will add an additional pepper kick to the finished product.

Also take notice of the baking sheet under the aluminum pan. Flimsy shit, yes?

These will cook in the preheated oven for 18-20 minutes. Remove the pan from the oven.

Give them a flip and season once again with more salt and pepper. Back in the oven you go!

18-20 minutes later we have these.

All ready for the grill they are.

Once again I am cooking for several people and one of them doesn’t like messing with the bones.

Solution?

I brined some chicken breasts the day before. It’s my standard “boil a cup of water with 3 tablespoons of salt until the salt dissolves, pour into a bowl that has a couple of cups worth of ice,  3-4 cloves of smashed garlic, handful of peppercorns and a couple of bay leaves, then place in a zip top bag and refrigerate overnight” standard brine jam.

Let’s get to grilling dammit!

Fire up your charcoal grill and get it to temp. Since the breasts will take longer to cook we’ll cook them first. Let that brined chicken come up to room temperature prior to grilling.

On they go. Cook both sides until the breasts are cooked through – maybe 7 to 8 minutes per side? Depends on the temperature of your coals really. When they are cooked through baste thoroughly with the sauce. Turn to cook the sauce without burning it mind you and be sure to get both sides. We want these wenches to be saucy!

Now let’s get to those wings.

Not a lot of sights are more alluring than a grill that’s smoking hot and fully loaded.

Damn I’m getting hungry again just looking at that.

Give them a flip after just a couple of minutes.

Now? Sauce that shit.

If that picture doesn’t set off a very literal Pavlovian response then you’re not a self respecting carnivore.

That’s sexy as a motherfucker.

Now for meal service?

Plate that shit up.

You can make a side dish or whatever but Lou Will didn’t go to Magic City to get Lou Wills Potato Salad now did he?

These wings are very lemon forward but have a nice rounded amount of “spice”. They’re not spicy hot at all just very savory and balanced. It might not be the original but this is a goddamn tasty wing for sure.

I didn’t try any of the chicken breast until the following day but after sitting in the fridge overnight to allow the flavors to mingle? That shit was fucking ROCKING the next day.

Was it irresponsible of Lou to go to a full contact strip club in the middle of a global pandemic while supposedly attending his grandfather’s funeral?

Of course it was.

But.

Sometimes a man needs a plate of wings!

And a lap dance!

And nothing else will do!

Thanks for following along good people. You are all very much appreciated.

Be safe, be well and always remember that NO LIVES MATTER UNTIL BLACK LIVES MATTER!

See you next week.

PEACE and UNITY!