Your Tuesday Internet Talk Open Thread – 20210126

Game Time Decision has gracefully offered to take up the weekly comment recap posts that I used to do in Eventual Balls Thoughts! In exchange, and in light of the fact that Temptation Island is returning in February and will be airing on Tuesday nights, I will be taking over the Tuesday Open Threads until BeerGuyRob comes back and Temptation Island finishes.

In today’s installment, Litre-cola and I will take you behind the scenes of Liga MX. We will offer our opinions of each club and provide you fun facts.

Please enjoy and complain in the comments!

***

América

Balls: I cannot stand this team and their supporters. They’re the team of the upper class and the pretentious middle and lower classes. They think they can buy success. Their lady fans are hot, though.

Litre: This is a glory boy team and usually win, so hail Gamblor! If the ex Cheeto in charge liked a team it would be these guys.

Atlas

Balls: I have a soft spot for Atlas since they have always been the “2nd” club in Guadalajara. I fondly remember watching their games on Saturday nights in black and white when I was little. They were the last team to have their games air in color on nationwide TV.

Litre: Oh I really don’t like Atlas, they constantly kill my bets and usually play Puebla tough.

Juárez

Balls: On the one hand, it’s nice that Ciudad Juárez has its own team now. On the other, they have no history and, as an expansion club, they haven’t had success to create a history. They’re just sort of there for me.

Litre: I just think this is a dangerous city with a dangerous logo.

Cruz Azul

Balls: This used to be my dad’s favourite club until he realized they were never going to win anything, so he moved on. Their stadium used to be located next to the Plaza De Toros but they moved to Azteca and lost their soul. In a trip to Tokyo, I saw a Cruz Azul ladies’ bag at a shop.

Litre: Blue Cruise! I like this club as they always progress and then get their hearts ripped out! Plus, cool unis.

Guadalajara

Balls: Known for having only Mexican players, Guadalajara is the team of the people. To me, that means that a lot of idiots follow this team. Think of the Raiders in the NFL. They have a lot of cool fans, but they also have a lot of morons. Do not like them as they are very arrogant.

Litre: Chivas. I don’t like them.

Santos

Balls: Santos is in Torreón, Coahila, which is in the north of México. There is nothing around for literally hundreds of miles, so their fanbase stretches across a vast territory. They used to be good and have now settled into being good when you don’t expect them to and fucking up your quinielas.

Litre: These bastards have killed so many of my bets that I 100% avaid any game they are participating in.

Querétaro

Balls: Querétaro is a lovely town with an impressive aqueduct dating from the colonial times. Their stadium is quite nice, at the top of a hill. The team is nicknamed the white roosters or white cocks. Guess which version I prefer. They’re a middle of the table team and will probably be that way until Liga MX reinstates relegation.

Litre: These guys are the Southampton of the league. Why do they even exist?

Monterrey

Balls: For context, there is a BIG rivalry between México City, Guadalajara, and Monterrey as cities. El DF, as México City is called, is, of course, the nation’s capital and thinks the country revolves around it like France does Paris. Guadalajara thinks it is the country’s 2nd city. Monterrey, however, is probably Mexico’s most prosperous and modern city. The team has been a source of pride as it is a perennial contender.

Litre: Don’t have much to say about these fellows, cool logo?

Tigres

Balls: Did you read what I wrote about Monterrey? Copy that for Tigres and add to it the fact that on the pitch Tigres have been far more successful than Monterrey lately. They have a French superstar-cult hero in Andre-Pierre Gignac and will represent CONCACAF in February’s World Club Cup.

Litre: I am in on Tigres because if it is good enoug for Gignac, it is good enough for me!

Toluca

Balls: This is the team that I have supported since I was a wee tiny balls. They like to be called either the red devils or the chorizeros, which means chorizo eaters/makers. Guess which one I prefer? They remodelled their stadium and converted the unused corners into luxury suites, which I thought was a brilliant idea.

Litre: I don’t like em because Balls supports them. Pretty easy that.

León

Balls: This is another team that I’ve had a soft spot for. The city of León is beautiful and I love the team’s green jerseys. They were pretty good last season as they won the whole thing.

Litre: Love their unis, love the way they play and Hippo calls the Kings of Leon.

Necaxa

Balls: This team used to be one of many in México City but they ended up getting relegated and then moving to other cities. They are now based out of Aguascalientes, which means hot waters. They used to be the electricistas (electricians) as they used to be owned by Mexico City’s utility company. Now they are nicknamed the hydroelectricistas to combine the two.

Litre: I have nothing of substance to say about them

Atlético de San Luis

Balls: Atlético de Madrid bought a franchise in Liga MX and rebranded it in the Atlético style with similar colors in the same way that Red Bull has bought clubs throughout the world and branded them in its image. It’s relatively new in Liga MX and are still trying to get some successs.

Litre: By rights I do not like these guys as they are controlled by Athleti Madrid, who also owns Athletico Ottawa here in Canada so I don’t like them.

Mazatlan

Balls: Mazatlan used to be Monarcas de Morelia but then some rich people from Sinaloa (I wonder who they could be…) built a stadium and stole the team. On the bright side, the team is nicknamed the Bucaneros (Buccaneers) and their shiny new stadium is called El Kraken, so that’s kinda cool.

Litre: Balls has changed my mind on this one. I do not like teams moving as that hurts the fan base. They are called the Buccaneers? Purple and Black? Sold.

Pumas UNAM

Balls: Another “team of the people” except these people are the middle class students that go to or went to UNAM. UNAM is knows as a bastion of leftism in México, so I’m sure a lot of the DFOers may want to support this club. Their stadium is on campus and was used for the Olympics in 1968.

Litre: Pumas makes me money, do not trust them.

Puebla

Balls: This is Litre’s favourite team, as he will tell you. Their stadium is cool and just underwent a major renovation. You will find it hard to find better food than in the state of Puebla.

Litre: Yeah baby! Mediocrity is what I need, and what I get here. Cultured city with great food is all I needed to hear and Mrs Cola wants to head down there too. I do follow this team a lot. Balls has sent me jerseys, and I look up articles on them in Espanol and slug my way through it.

Pachuca

Balls: You could say that Mexican football was born in Pachuca as it is the oldest club in México. They used to be good in the 90s and are, to this day, the only Mexican team to win a South American tournament (the Copa Sudamericana).

Litre: I know nothing of them to have an opinion.

Tijuana

Balls: Their mascot is a gnarly dog breed named Xoloitzcuintles. They have cool jerseys and are owned by the Caliente group, which runs horse racing tracks and sports books throughout México. One of these days when the pandemic is over, I’ll head over the border and catch a game at their stadium in TJ.

Litre: I would love to head down to this stadium for a game!!!

***

There’s stuff on TV, I’m sure, but I recommend that you focus on commenting. It’s much more rewarding and will rot your brain a lot less.

ballsofsteelandfury
Latest posts by ballsofsteelandfury (see all)
5 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
183 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Brick Meathook

I just bought Castrol GTX 5W-30 motor oil, Prestone 50/50 engine coolant, and Pennzoil Mercon Automatic Transmission Fluid on-line from Home Depot for curbside pick-up tomorrow, and I feel good about it dammit!

I can’t wait drink them all.

bk109

Nice! I tend to go with VAG-branded replacement fluids, because I’m too lazy to find which aftermarket brand’s worth buying (which reminds me – I should probably restock on brake fluid)

…And for everything else (and painted olive green!) – I just buy the cheapest drum of Castrol I can find XD

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Now I’m just procrastinating work but had to share this one:

https://twitter.com/ryanbeckwith/status/1354108880700190721?s=19

SonOfSpam

Biggest shock about the story? Forced monkey labor was in Thailand, not one of the more typically evil countries.

(remembers all the kid-abusing in Thailand)

Never mind. Everything sucks except Melvin Capital.

Brick Meathook

Damn unionized monkeys ruin everything.

SonOfSpam

-Jerry Richardson

Gumbygirl

This is an outrage!
https://youtu.be/-dWmAeGH15Y

Viva La Tabula Raza

Speaking below about the Chicken Shack brought up this memory of my late 1970s. Bad ass tune. Christine McVie, later of Fleetwood Mac, featured on some of their albums. Really worth a listen if you like the git-tar music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U58JZ05qlGk

Viva La Tabula Raza

So found a new car show where some Midland Brit meatheads (Northerners? My accent identification skillz are weak for the UK, though probably better than 90% of Americans) buy total pieces of shit cars for under 1000 pounds and try to flip them for twice what they paid. They often fuck up but just as often triumph. The hair on one of the guys looks like he’s the bastard child of Boris Johnson. Lots of episodes on YouTube under Flipping Bangers.

litre_cola

I have watched that. They did a spinoff where they come over here.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve only seen the Wheeler Dealer guys come over to this side of the pond and Goblin Works team from Manky land was over for an episode once. But I’ll keep my eye peeled. No one here would understand a fucking word they said, without subtitles.
Edit: and when I say “here,” I mean this country, not this website.

Last edited 1 month ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Sharkbait

Speaking of UK TV shows, Mrs. Sharkbait and I have been binging 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown. Highly entertaining

litre_cola

Fucking great show. We have been watching The Big fat Quiz of (insert year), Jimmy Carr is host. So funny.

Last edited 1 month ago by litre_cola
Sharkbait

We started with that. Fan fucking tastic

herodotus450

“Midlanders!? Pshh.”
-East Northlanders

Viva La Tabula Raza

They’re all fookin’ cunts.
— The Scots.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m still in Phys Therapy for my foot surgery. Had a appt scheduled for yesterday afternoon, but got a call in the AM that the therapist I have been using all along was exposed to the covid. Had to reschedule pending his testing results, but got the word today that he tested negative. yay.

Last edited 1 month ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
herodotus450

Apparently all of Vegas’ coaches are out for Covid caution, so their GM is behind the bench tonight.

litre_cola

Kelly McCrimmon! Good prairie boy. Ex Wheat King!

herodotus450

“Oh we got him. We got a whole stack of McCriminating evidence on him.”

litre_cola

Insert Twbs redhead kid with face in hand.

Sharkbait

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, is the use of “Loopmas” instead of “Loompas” some kind of obscurantism us boomers are not supposed to get? Because it’s working….

litre_cola

Jets just scored 3 goals in 2 minutes. I approve.

Sharkbait

Meanwhile, New York gave up 2 in 1:12 to lose the game.

litre_cola

From the twitter machine it seems the Leaves are killing the Ice Stampeders.

Viva La Tabula Raza

You can’t fool me, I know the NFL season is over and the Jets didn’t even make the playoffs.

herodotus450

The more you look at it, the life of young hockey players moving around, living with strange families, lives controlled by billionaire masters at the expense of their bodily good, seems a lot like human trafficking. We must band together and stop this sick Canadadaian practice before it’s too late!

Brick Meathook

I dunno, this GameStop stock thing is all over the internet leading me to believe that you should stay a million miles away from it.

The Wall Street big boys never lose and they are getting ready to shear some sheep.

bk109

That’s what I said earlier when it first came up, lol – the only reason this is still a thing is that most day traders are clueless and with 0 impulse control, so when they heard that the shares are going up – the new waves provide enough fresh cash to prop up prices (after a dip)

Basically – it’s the same reason why cylically a volatile currency like Bitcoin goes through a boom and bust cycle 😉

bk109

Wait, noone got elected to the baseball HOF? Not that I generally care about HOFs, but … that’s kinda retarded, when you need to use basically every opportunity to advertise your flagging sport…

Viva La Tabula Raza

Given some of the MLB scandals over the last couple decades, they should open a Hall of Shame. Your suggestions as to location are welcome.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cleveland is always an option for shame

bk109

The already have the Cavs, Pauls, Indians … they’re suffering enough

Viva La Tabula Raza

Never been to the R’n’R HOF there, so cannot pass judgment on that. But Jann Wenner is an asshole, so I will pre-suppose. Also, river in flames (yes, it was 50 years ago, i know. So was Santa being pelted by Philly fans, but everyone remembers that, too).

Brick Meathook

I drove past the R’n’R HOF once.

litre_cola

I went in. It was neat for a couple hours. ZZ Top’s car is there so I enjoyed that.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Which car? the one from Eliminator? Gibbons has several more.

litre_cola

Yes, that one. The doco on ZZ Top I watched when the pandemic began was great.

Brick Meathook

Here is how the R’n’R HOF appeared as I drove past it:

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, I dug that documentary. I’ve been a big fan since 1974 or so. Along with all the shows I saw stateside since then, I went and saw them in Milan back in about 2004 with an Italian/English buddy of mine. They played a lot of the bluesy stuff from the 70s and his mind was blown, only having ever heard the synth stuff from the 80s.
A-HOW-HOW-HOW. (I sat site geologist on a number of oil wells in and around La Grange TX back in the early 1990s, one just down the road from the Chicken Shack).

Don T

Aka Cleveland’s Louvre

bk109

It’s been less than a year according to this article 😀 As for the RnR Hall Of Fame – knowing what shitshow of a selection process they have – you might as well use it to store nuclear waste and no one would bloody notice 😀

Senor Weaselo

Is ELP in yet? No? Then I’m still not going!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Keith Emerson had the largest organ in the world!
I saw them headline over Wishbone Ash at the Swing Auditorium in San Bernardino around 1975.

bk109

Yucca Mountain – if you get elected to the HOS, you get insta-freezed with some LNO2, then get encased in a spare fuel rod casket and left to marinade over the next 10 000 years 😉

Viva La Tabula Raza

When I was working on my geology MSci, I applied for an internship at Southwest Research to work on the Yucca Mtn disposal project (this was 30 years ago). Biggest attraction was a summer doing research in the Aegean, island of Santorini. Identical geologic regime as Yucca Mountain. Regrettably, I came in second place and did not get the position.

bk109

… that’s why you need a rock and no witnesses! After all, if the first place suddenly becomes vacant, because of a polite “conversation”, then … *shrugs*

Viva La Tabula Raza

Dude, I am not the Talented Mister Ripley… 🙂

bk109

Then you should’ve outsourced, because me and my better half had our honeymoon at Santorini and it’s worth every corpse penny

Viva La Tabula Raza

This was posted elsewhere on the internet, but I thought it was worth sharing here.comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, everyone, we need more contributors to quotables, so get your ass over there: https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2021/01/26/2020-quotables-conference-round-submissions/

litre_cola

How do you imbed the pics in the comments? I have asked for years.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I open the images blax includes in a new tab, copy the link, paste it into my comment box, and then make with the funny. Or not.

bk109

Or just right click, copy image address on Chrome/Edge….

litre_cola

Thank you all.

Don T

Press on the gif and copy, then type and paste

Viva La Tabula Raza

Right click on image, left click Copy Image Address from dropdown menu, go to your post comment box, and hit Ctrl V. Add text as necessary.

Last edited 1 month ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t bother, because my contribution would invariably be the generic one-size-fits-all New Yorker cartoon caption: “Christ, what an asshole.”

Last edited 1 month ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Honestly, if you put that in every week, I would laugh my ass off

Don T

I think Miss Piggy would be a fun date. There, I said it.

Don T

Brassy AND off-shoulder gown? IM NOT MADE OF STOOONE

Viva La Tabula Raza

PLUS!comment image

litre_cola

She has a pack of darts in the jean jacket.

litre_cola

comment image

rockingdog

found a funny:

“Bro, you want this pamphlet?”

“Brochure”

Brocky

sitting in bar before the rona, song comes on the jukebox

friend: hey who played shaggy?

me: it wasn’t me

bk109

And sleep is officially cancelled for tonight.. I was looking at some tactical maps of Berlin left from my granddad (stuff that I hadn’t looked at since I was a kid) and aside from knowing (thanks to not outrunning my conscription notice in the old country, then reserve duty over ‘ere) how much each of this scribbles cost in human suffering … I just realized that the spots and dried “something” is more than likely blood…

litre_cola

Fuck yeah, you are usually in the morning futbol clubhouse no sleep for you!

bk109

Yeah, but if I don’t get my 2-ish hours a day, my eyes become a bit photosensitive, but at this point .. I legitimately can imagine the carnage

Brocky

comment image

bk109

Time to killjoy this bish – that’s probably a generic radio mast (probably with some cell network aerials on it as well that are obscured by its darkness and overall potato quality)

Also the red light isn’t to warn aircraft off – it’s to tell them “ACHTUNG, ‘RONA VARUSING IN PROGRESS”

Brick Meathook

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Senor Weaselo

McBain: Let’s Get Silly is a criminally underrated movie.

bk109

the 5G/RONA connection is no JOKE, damn it (translation – apparently some fucksticks burned the 3G aerial near my home in Dublin…)
Also ^ I’ve seen this meme before but I don’t get the reference – is that very early Family Guy or somethin’?

Last edited 1 month ago by bk109
Viva La Tabula Raza

Schwarzenegger doppelganger, early Simpsons.

Doktor Zymm

Doing a clean install on my old gaming laptop while enjoying how much better Civ runs on a faster machine and converting a handful of new kindle books to pdf. I feel more competent than I have in a while, funny how I don’t get to do any of the stuff I’m good at in my job

bk109

Yeah, funny how the world works, lol – my job began as ^ and working up the corporate ladder without ONCE using my actual education (dual majors in economics and politics, with a minor in history…)
Thank bloody Christ that work comped me to get some formal education in CompSci as well, lol

Also – friendly tip – the cheapest AND best massive improvement you can do to your old gear is to dump the hard drive it inevitably has and put an SSD in its place 😉

Doktor Zymm

I’ve built my own desktops since high school, so those are all in good shape drive-wise. Not sure on my laptop, good thing to check!

bk109

At least on the laptop side you also benefit from the no moving parts (which improves drop safety and correspondingly – the pucker factor when something inevitably clangs), depending on the hardware an SSD will also improve battery life, because even if the stated power levels are similar (or slightly higher) than traditional drives, the instantaneous seek times, better transfer rates and the lack of platter ramp-up mean that the device is outta powersaving mode for less time

Brocky

seeing the tiger woods documentary on HBO is bringing back painful memories of my family’s attempts to shoehorn golf into my development years

rockingdog

wat
comment image

Brocky

the weirdest thing about this image is that it doesn’t have Trump

bk109

Or abject horror in general?

Brocky

in general. usually you see this absurd shit from conservatives.

imagine ben garrison if he dropped a lot of acid while drawing

TheRevanchist

It’s just like The NeverEnding Story.

scotchnaut

What’s with the celebration stuff? Neither one of them stuck the landing.

Viva La Tabula Raza
herodotus450

Where’s the “Mega Downvote” button when you need it?

scotchnaut

I can’t tell you exactly where it is but I will say that Sill Bimmons was a hoarder.

Last edited 1 month ago by scotchnaut
Viva La Tabula Raza

Mega or MAGA?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just a heads up – I’ve got a post about the GameStop stock action coming out tomorrow morning. Come join in for the discussion. We can watch investment houses get blown the fuck up in real time.

bk109

Or rather listen to the waves upon waves of idiots with RobinHood (or however that’s spelled) and other daytrading platforms get assfucked, while a few weaponize their stupidity (which isn’t a bad thing per se, judging by the initial 20k I put in @78 and change a share that I offloaded at 208 in after-hours trading 🙂 )

Brocky

… is gamestop going outta business?

bk109

No, it’s getting pumped by idiots at /R/WallStreetBets , who somehow mistook good (and barely good at that) news for somehow meaning that a firm in a declining market with even worse sales turning a corner 😀
It’s a joy to see, tbh (especially when you use that same stupidity against those same people 😀 )

Viva La Tabula Raza